How to Plan an Affordable Funeral

October 17, 2007 RSS Feed Print
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Funerals, like weddings, are expensive affairs usually planned by people with very little experience. After all, with funerals at least, it's a once-in-a-lifetime event. Many people are unaware of their rights guaranteed by federal law, such as the right to receive price information from funeral homes over the phone. And they tend not to plan funerals, which often drives their price up, because people rarely have the time or inclination to shop around while grieving.

The average price of a funeral is $6,580, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. U.S. News spoke with Steven Kopp, an associate professor of business at the University of Arkansas, and Joshua Slocum, executive director of the nonprofit Funeral Consumers Alliance, about how to minimize sticker shock on what is usually an emotionally wrought purchase.

Why don't people plan funerals ahead of time, like they do with weddings?

Kopp: Many people have a resistance to even thinking about the events involved in dying and death. While it ought to be something that is more routine, it isn't. So it becomes a very stressful thing. I don't even have a will. It's a big enough deal that you ought to do it now, but most people don't.

What's the biggest financial mistake people make when arranging a funeral?

Kopp: Not shopping around. You can basically go a la carte for just about everything. You can buy caskets at Costco. There are all kinds of interesting alternatives. One Internet company makes [a casket] you can keep in your house, as a desk or a bookshelf, and when you die, that's your casket.

You can make it as elaborate or as simple as you want, in terms of headstones, urns, or cremation containers. You can have your ashes mixed with concrete and sink them to the bottom of the ocean, so they're in a coral reef, or shoot them out into space. There's a trend now toward green funerals, where there's no casket at all.

Slocum: Many people make a very bad mistake when choosing a funeral home. The top reasons they pick it is that they've used it before or it's close to their home. Neither is a rational reason. If you've never shopped around, you may be paying three times the right price. Don't be naive—be a shopper. I just did a price survey for the Princeton, N.J., area and saw the cost of a full-service funeral range from $2,500 to $6,500. I've seen a simple cremation range from $395 to $5,600.

After shopping around, don't prepay. It's a national scandal how much prepaid funeral money goes missing. [State laws protecting prepayments for funerals vary.] People can make the mistake of thinking, if they sign the check, kids won't have worries. But most times, in my experience, it sets kids up for heartache because it gives you, the consumer, an excuse not to have a frank conversation with your family. Elderly people, with the best intentions, prepay; then the kid ends up on the phone in tears, because there was no price guarantee, or the casket they chose wasn't available, or it's an extra $1,000. It's a heartache because they didn't read the contract and explain. Prepayment is a trap.

Are people's ignorance of the rules governing the funeral industry costing them money?

Kopp: There's no question that people end up paying for stuff that they don't need to pay for. While most funeral homes will be ethical about it, there will always be exceptions, in all industries. But if an individual knew what they were due, they might handle the whole process differently. That's the thing about encouraging planning. If you start thinking about it now, there's a lot less chance that you'll be taken advantage of. The fact you can have a simple funeral, but a good party afterwards is something people maybe need to think about.

What do people not know about the laws governing funeral homes? What should they know?

Kopp: The most important thing is that funeral homes have to give price information over the telephone. You can call around and shop. [Funeral homes] have to offer everything a la carte. You can't make people buy it as a package.

Slocum: The level of knowledge most people have about shopping for a funeral is really bad. The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule gives consumers important legal rights. [In addition to the ones Kopp mentioned, the Funeral Rule also requires funeral providers to accept, free of charge, caskets purchased elsewhere.]

What else should people do?

Slocum: The next time you go to the grocery store, stop by a funeral home and pick up a general price list. Families need to have a conversation about what's important. A lot of people just go through the motions of a traditional funeral when they might not want it. Ask yourself, "Do I really want the body on display?" Don't do it just because it's expected.

On our website [www.funerals.org], we have a lot of information on how to decode funeral price lists and common myths and facts. Folks should check and see if there's a local Funeral Consumers Alliance. We have a directory on our website. They can make recommendations of ethical homes.

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I would like to know about affordable funnerals and plots also

Mary H,Barrios of AZ 3:51PM March 16, 2011

Before my Mom passed away recently, I contracted with a reputable funeral home in our area. I had been to many funerals @ the facility over the years. We trusted them! They acted kind, gracious, respectful and I went away with the thought that the simple cremation would be non stress for our family. Her wishes were for a cremation, little fanfare, just have the family attend our family church service on Sunday & have dinner together. However, we were contacted after her death(which was expected & welcomed due to age/illness) @ that time we were "encouraged" to hold the Memorial at the funeral home, have a memorial dinner @ the local restaurant, place numerous obituary listings in several local papers including pictures. The reasoning being that we would want everyone to know that our Mother had passed. Under the circumstances, we wished for a quiet, simple celebration of her life with family. Close friends were aware of her death & sent sympathies, we did not need or want what the funeral director suggested. We felt a good deal of pressure to add fanfare. Please, everyone, be aware of the "Big Business" of funeral homes. Some, including this one, I beleive, make a good deal on the upselling to a grieving family. We choose not to buy the add ons but to have a simple family activity as we had planned. Our handling our own activity was very dissapointing to the funeral director-too bad! Since that time I have heard they charge far more than the newspapers charge them and tack on much more for a picture(Don't you want to honor her with a picture?), dine at that restaurant as thanks for sending so much catering business to the restaurant(I have seen the funeral director, his wife and kids at this place routinely-they leave-always without a check.Tax free income?). We did choose to have a simple Memorial at her home as she wished following Sunday Services. We have a family member whose son owns a catering service, he served a wonderful meal and we had a fabulous day of family bonding, we laughed, watched family videos, looked @ photos & honored Mom in our quiet way. Far more rewarding to us than a stiff service. Too bad the funeral director was so greedy, he should not have been a source of stress to our family. He has lost any future business from our family. Do what you feel is best for your family, don't allow these vultures to "guilt" you into what is best for them. Big funerals are a recent thing, for generations families had just what we did. It was respectful & rewarding. We certainly could afford all of his suggestions, going the simple route was far better for our family, he had a responsibility to respect our wishes without pressure intended only to pad his pocket. Not all funeral homes are bad, but beware-just because you know them, your family has used them, does not mean that they will be fair. Had this been sudden-we may not have had the wearwithall to resist his sale tactics, thus costing us far more than it needed to cost.

Suzanne of CT 1:19PM April 02, 2010

We took your advice and shopped around when our Grandma got sick. We were amazed at the price differences between the funeral homes. We visited/called 6 funeral homes, the prices for what they called a "Traditional Funeral" we from $2,495.00 to $9,750.00. This did not include the cemetery charges. We were amazed at the diffeerences in price. We found that the Dignity corporate owned funeral homes were much more expensive. After reading your article, we did some additional research and we came across an individual that helps people negotiate funeral costs. He is known as "The Negotiator". His name is Ken Lambert and he is here on Houston, TX. We spoke with him, told him what we wanted for our Grandmothers service. Within an hour, he had someone from a local Funeral Home call us. They assured us that we can have a dignified service at a very affordable price of $2,495. Two days later when she passed, they came to our home and took her to the funeral home. We had a viewing, church service, hearse, graveside service and a beautiful dove release. The obituary in the newspaper, additional fowers and police escorts were additional. The total cost was $3,600.00 in which the funeral director told us up front the day we met. The service was very professional and comforting. I don't understand how the prices can fluctuate thousands and thousands of dollars.

Thank You ALPHA Consumer, Claire Brothers Funeral Home and "The Negotiator" Ken Lambert for all your help in our time of need.

Rhonda Billings of TX 11:35AM February 15, 2010

Alpha Consumer

Kimberly Palmer, senior editor for U.S. News & World Report, writes about making smarter financial decisions. She’s the author of Generation Earn: The Young Professional's Guide to Spending, Investing, and Giving Back.

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