The New Rules of Tipping

January 7, 2008 RSS Feed Print
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We all know that waiters should get somewhere around 20 percent of the final bill. But what about newspaper delivery workers? Or the housekeeping staff at a hotel? Feeling perpetually confused about tipping myself, I turned to Judith Bowman, a protocol consultant and author of Don't Take the Last Donut, to go over the basic rules.

Can you please explain your basic tipping philosophy, including how you know when to tip and how much?
Tipping is not mandatory. Literally translated, to "tip" means "to ensure promptness." [But] tipping is also a way of saying thank you for services rendered.

There are no absolutes in terms of whom one should tip. However, generally speaking, service providers should be tipped anywhere from 18 to 22 percent. The 10 to 15 percent tip is archaic. That said, the elderly individual on a fixed income who offers $1 to the maitre d' should be applauded, and the service staff should accept the gesture as graciously as they would a $50 gratuity. Overtipping is never a negative, however, as this serves to help ensure prompt service, particularly if one is a regular customer.

Are there certain types of workers whom people tend to forget to tip?
Generally speaking, some individuals might tend to forget to tip workers at the car wash, maid service in a hotel, and individuals who prepare takeout food (at a higher-end restaurant, they deserve a tip, particularly when they go to the trouble to put extras in or make a special presentation). Garbage collectors are also often forgotten.

What are some common tipping mistakes?
You should never tip the owner or proprietor of an establishment. In fact, it is their professional responsibility to tell you that they do not accept tips. Never tip salaried staff or those on commission, such as a salesperson in a furniture showroom. Do not tip the person who pumps your gas. The cost of "full service" gas includes the effort of the individual.

There is no need to tip for furniture delivery because delivery charges are included in the bill. However, if the delivery is unusually challenging or you want to thank the individuals for terrific attitude or speed, then tipping is appropriate. A flower delivery person also does not get a tip, unless they have made a special effort.

Another common mistake: Many people forget to extend the tip by making good eye contact, offering a warm and sincere thank-you, and even offering a handshake. Service providers have the responsibility of accepting the gesture graciously, sincerely, and, again, with good eye contact.

How much should you tip your building's doorman? Your newspaper delivery worker? Garbage collectors? A bartender? Other service workers?
Doormen: If you have a doorman, a tip for opening the door, perhaps even retrieving your car, and helping you in and out every day is not necessary, as this is part of their job description and what you pay for with condo or rental fees. If, however, the doorman goes out of their way to go above and beyond, such as bringing your groceries into your apartment or condominium unit, this definitely requires a tip, anywhere between $5 and $10 or more, depending on how many trips or bundles.

Newspaper delivery worker: Delivery workers are typically tipped at holiday time, anywhere between $10 and $20. This amount should be left in an envelope, which they will often leave to help remind you, or, ideally, you should place the cash in a card along with a personal note. Hopefully, you know their name.

Garbage collectors: They should be tipped whenever you leave extra garbage—volume or mass—anywhere from $10 to $20.

Bartenders: Even if you order a glass of water at the bar and there is no check, you must understand that the bartender has taken as much time and provided to you the same level of service and personal attention as if you had ordered any other beverage. You should also be sensitive to the fact that by taking up a seat at the bar, you are potentially costing the bartender revenue. For both of these reasons, a tip [of around 20 percent of what drinks would cost] is required when ordering even water and sitting at the bar.

Sky cap at a hotel: $2 per bag, or you may never see your bags again.

Room service deliverer: Many hotels have initiated mandatory tipping under the guise of a room service charge or a delivery charge, in which case a tip is not necessary. When in doubt, ask.

Housekeeping staff: The appropriate tip for housekeeping services is $1 to $2 per room per night. The general rule is that the level of tipping for housekeeping personnel would not vary regardless if you are staying at an upscale hotel or a local motel. One word of caution: It is sometimes dangerous to leave any cash in your room and assume it will reach the housekeeping staff. The safe course here is to hand your tip—placed in an envelope, along with a brief, handwritten note on hotel stationery—directly to the housekeeper who has been caring for you and your room or with the concierge on duty.

Do you have advice for someone who feels really awkward giving tips?
Anyone who feels awkward tipping should truly make the effort to get past this. Tipping others for a job well done is intended as a show of appreciation, which should make them, you, and your heart feel good.

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As far as tipping for take out - aside from pizza deliverer - or any take out delivery I refuse to tip. Why the hell tip at Harveys, McDonalds etc when their food is extraordinarily pricey as far as take out goes. (harveys not as much) I refuse to tip at places where there are tip jars. I mean c'mon! I remember one Harveys I went to (now gone) had a tip thingy on its debit machine. I was disgusted with that.... they are the ones who twice ran out of hot dog buns at 1pm on a saturday and served me my hot dog on a hamburger bun! Should I have tipped THEM for the extra use of bread (LOL) Pubs and bars I will tip as I please - since I'm known at some of them, I will tip VERY well. I always tip ON the tax. Places I am trying out etc, we also tip well. I was out at New years with my BF and they automatically added the tip - we did NOT appreciate that as it was wayyy too much added in our opinion.. It was yes New years and yes it was a good meal - but it was not a fancy dancy type restaurant like "The Keg" it was a PUB. Not worth 20% I'm sorry...

Charlie 9:31PM January 05, 2012

The subject of tipping at the coffee shop was not brought up here. I suppose the tips are shared between the Barrista and the girl who passes the $4.00 cup of coffee through the window. Is a tip mandatory here and what is appropriate?

Also my daughter recently embarrassed me by whispering "did you add a tip?" as I had just finished signing my debit ticket for mexican take out. I had not put a tip. I was raised in the era of 15% tip for a sit down meal but usually leave 20% for sit down service. I do not usually tip for take-out. This is a tiny little local mexican restaurant run by the owners. The husband cooks, the wife serves and rings up take-out. Given, it would be nice of me to have given a tip but was it inappropriate that I did not?

Also what about hair dressers and dog groomers. When the service is provided by the owner of the establishment is it appropriate to just give what ever they tell you the fee is or should you add a tip and what percent?

vera of CA 1:12AM July 02, 2010

Well, i must say @mple of FL.... I am a server and a good so can come to my restaurant and i will take care of you, LOL. But on a serious note. I am 21 years old and I am full time student. My parent make to much money for to qaulify for financial assistance, yet not enough to really help me with school and living expenses. I am a good student and all of my tuition is covered by scholarship, but i have to buy my own books, supplies, food, gas, and anything else you can associate with being a student. Now most restaurant automatically take. 3% of the total bill from the server and give it to busser, bartenders, and hostesses. Thus, if you have a $50 dollar check i am automatically paying 1.50 to serve you. If you do not tip me. It actually cost me money to wait on you. You might as well reach into my piggy bank and take my book money for the semester, because initially that is what you are doing, stealing my time and money. Yes tipping is not required, that is a fact, however next time you out ask urself is if fair for a server to pay to wait on you.

Landy of TX 12:27PM March 20, 2010

Alpha Consumer

Kimberly Palmer, senior editor for U.S. News & World Report, writes about making smarter financial decisions. She’s the author of Generation Earn: The Young Professional's Guide to Spending, Investing, and Giving Back.

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