5 Ways to Save at Weddings

the presents we received for our wedding that meant the very most to us were not expensive at all. My maid of honor is crafty and made a scrapbook for all of our wedding photos, that was 10 times nicer than the one that the photographer offered for more money than I'd like to admit spending. And the 2nd gift was actually from my husband's boss, she gave us a bonsai tree, with a great card that I framed that spoke of the living gift being a reminder to tend our marraige like we do the tree.

Lacy of NY 7:05PM August 22, 2008

GIFTS: All of my friends who've gotten married have put a lot of time and effort into their wedding registries at specific stores. When they get a random gift that is nice but doesn't have anything to do with what they registered for, they are left puzzled and almost always choose to take it back. Get a gift they’ll keep!

Ninety nine percent of the time when I go on the registries, there are some very expensive gifts, but there are also plenty of very cheap items for twenty dollars and below. So, most of the time, it is not going to be hard for you to find a cheaper item that is still what they registered for. Then of course you can get nice, cheaper wrapping paper and do it yourself if you’d like.

DRESS NEGOTIATIONS: I have been in 5 weddings in the last four years and it's definitely cost me a lot of money in the bridesmaid dress department. Four of the girls wanted us to wear long, prom-type gown dresses from popular wedding outfitters. The dresses were about $130 minimum and because I'm 5’2”, I always have to get them tailored!

But how do you tell the bride – no, sorry, we’re not going to buy this expensive dress for your wedding. You really can’t because it’s HER wedding and she should get to choose. Of course, if it’s way out of your budget, you can choose to decline being a bridesmaid which would be sad, but maybe it would be that “wake up” call that she needed? There’s no way I could have negotiated with those four girls - they knew what they wanted and were going to have it. And hey, it’s their wedding.

My plea to brides would be - yes, make your wedding beautiful, but do be conscious of the money your wedding party has to spend! We want to be in your wedding, but if we have to buy our bridesmaid dress, we'd really like it to be a nice price and the type we can wear again! I have never worn the four gown dresses ever again, so I'm out $560 at least (and they aren't the type of dresses you can convert into something cool). But the fifth wedding -- the dress was off the rack but still very elegant. I got about twenty compliments on it and can wear it to any nice party. Hardly anyone complimented us on the expensive gown dresses!

Always a Bridesmaid of CA 6:52PM August 22, 2008

I disagree with the just say no comment. I just went to my cousins wedding and it wasn't a situation where I could 'just say no'. For example, my mother really wanted me to go because its "for the family". I'm not close to my cousin at all, I think to the point of disliking each other. However, my cousin has a small family (both mother and father's side) of 13 people. And therefore, if a person did NOT show up, it was considered rude. No matter the fact that most of the family had to drive 3+ hours to the wedding and then 3+ back home on the same day. What are you supposed to do then?

Ashley of OK 6:11PM August 22, 2008

My husband and I have been in and attended two weddings this year-both siblings and what amazes us is in the four years since our wedding our family(and the rest of the country) have suddenly become Rockerfellers. We've spent around $2000 to be in and attend each wedding (probably more-eek)-basically our vacation budget. There was no bargaining with our families (or the bridezilla sister-in-law)-the rule was be there or be square. I understand it's your special day, but unless you're famous or hugely rich it looks tacky and is offensive to A-have a lavish wedding that doesn't reflect your real lifestyle and B expect your middle class family members to actually buy you your platinum clad china-what? for the condo??? Seriously. And NOTHING is more tacky or pointless or less environmentally friendly than a stretch Hummer with neon lights. Let's tone it down folks. No matter what, if you have your wedding in a function hall the food is going to suck-no matter how much you paid for mushroom caps and vegetable crudite, or some lame beverage fountain. Be more original.

Lizbeth of HI 5:57PM August 22, 2008