5 Ways to Save at Weddings

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I agree that it might be best not to attend the wedding to cut some cost by avoiding some travel and lodging costs, but it is in poor etiquette to decline the invitation and not still send a gift. Sending a wedding gift is still appropriate.
Another thing...Other than not attending an Engagement Party to avoid travel costs, there should be no other costs incurred for showing up. Engagement Parties are not a situation where you are supposed to bring a gift, so I say showing up to the Engagement Party but avoiding something else, like a shower or bachelor/bachelorette party is smarter.
:o)

Julie of TX 5:43PM August 22, 2008

One of my hobbies is photograpy, so for weddings of close friends and family, I ask in advance if it is okay to bring my camera to the reception. So far everyone has been very eager to do so. I take a variety of photos at the reception (not the ceremony unless asked since the flash etc can be distracting) and put together a scrapbook of the event and burn the photos to a CD for the happy couple. They usually love having it since the professional photographer is usually so focused on the couple they are unable to capture the guests as well, and I know them well enough to match their taste and include happy stories. I can do a really nice package for around $25, and the memory means more than a toaster. If you go this route you have to be prepaired to have the final product fairly quickly, it just doesn't mean as much presented 6 months later!
I am currently planning my own wedding and one thing we are doing to be sensitive to our attendants is choosing the colors and allowing them to choose their own dress, matching their body type and budget.

Melissa of TX 4:50PM August 22, 2008

A FRIEND OF FRIEND IS SAVING BY HAVING HER RECEPTION AT THE LOCAL TRUCK STOP, AND THE WEDDING AT THE LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL GYM, MAKING OWN INVITATIONS, AND BUYING HER DRESS AT TARGET.

SS of FL 4:44PM August 22, 2008

I really like the idea of buying in bulk. But I have found something that works just great. I have some friends who just got married, first time.
Her mother held a quiet "personal" shower, it was very nice, but the request was to only place a small card on the gift, and then they had a tea party for the actual bridal shower, and again no names were given so people who did not bring gifts did not feel singled out.
Finally, they requested that all gifts be given to the couples parents prior to or after the wedding so they could get settled in.
I gave a basket, made out of a mixing bowl, and flowers made of neutral colored dishclothes and towels, and untensils. All together I spent $25 and got the greatest thank you.
Not everyone needs to give the huge present, and sometimes the little things get forgotten and they are hugely expensive if only one person is buying.

Lacey of OR 2:20PM August 22, 2008

I wanted to have a large wedding as my husband had never had a big wedding and I also wanted the "white wedding" , but as we were paying for this ourselves, it was not looking good. I started to shop around and I found you can get nice bridesmaids dresses for under $100 and I bargain shopped. I asked everyone I knew until I found a woman who could do the cooking, she was just starting her business, and we agreed she could leave her business card on the dessert table, so she gave me a 50% discount. I fed 250 people for about $500 before cake. I bought my flowers from a nursery and did my own flowers, and planned everything with an eye to a bargain.
My entire wedding cost under $2500 (before wedding dress) with 6 bridesmaids and groomsmen.
I had a single dinner vs having a dozen parties, as much of my family lived a plane ride away. So we had an engagement/bachloer/bechelorette dinner/party all at once. IT was great.
So shopp around and have fun..

Tiffany of OR 2:09PM August 22, 2008

We had a couple make it to the church but not to the reception which I thought was rude since we paid a good amount of $ to feed/open bar. We also had a friend of the groom's mother bring her 2 teenage kids who were uninvited (couple was paying for wedding on their own so we kept it to around 50 people and only wanted family kids there not obnoxious teenagers who text messaged during our ceremony and distracted other guests). A gift is always nice to get even if you didn't "register" for it. I think people should really keep weddings to just close family/friends. I do think it is rude to bring someone to a wedding that is not a boyfriend (i.e.: sister or friend or casual date is not appreciated by the couple who is spending $100 on each guest to be there and would rather that spot be filled with a friend they had to cross off the list to keep it small). No matter anyone's financial situation, everyone can afford a card wishing the couple a lifetime of happiness. If you can't afford a gift, don't go. I don't go to weddings if they are not close friends or not someone I want to spend $100-$200 on a gift plus any other expenses. It is hard to afford to go to so many weddings/be in them so you have to learn to say no. As far as gifts, give what you can afford too. I didn't have a lot of $ years ago when a family member got married so they got a small gift from me. They are in a great financial position so they spent way more $ than I would ever expect on both shower and wedding gifts. It is petty to say I will only spend $50 because that's what she spent. People should understand that not everyone can afford an expensive gift.

Karen of OH 2:04PM August 22, 2008

Gifts don't have to cost a lot of money to be great. A co-worker was getting married and we were all in college. I took up a collection. It only ended up being $50 but I talked to the bride and found the B & B where they were spending their first night... we went to the dollar store and a boutique and a liquor store. By the time I was done, we had a nice picnic basket with some inexpensive plates ($1 store) they could throw away without feeling guilty and cheese and fruits and a bottle of champagne with a few bottles of juice and some muffins. We also bought a bunch of small candles (again $1 store). And some simple candle holders. Then I wrote a poem about using the candle holders at every anniversary to remember the joys and memories of this day and all the impending good times. We placed all this around her room. We told her we had her covered for her dinner and her breakfast before the wedding.
We all signed a card and wished her well and gave that to her at the ceremony. Turns out that this is the gift she remembers best and appreciated the most. That we tried to use our gifts to help her with her wedding plans, greatly touched her.

Ann of IN 1:57PM August 22, 2008

The earlier post did not suggest a GIFT from the Dollar Store - she only suggested purchasing the wrapping & gift bags there, which is an excellent idea.
I like the idea of the cooler filled with useful items - In fact I'm definately in favor of the PRACTICAL gifts.

Kitty of MA 1:53PM August 22, 2008

When my husband and I married, we budgetted werever we could. We didn't expect gifts or anything. We just wanted the memories. We put disposable cameras on the tables, no one used them. We bought 50 pounds of M & M's from a warehouse store and ate all of them except the blue and yellow (colors of the wedding) while making the jewelry and flowers for the wedding. We made a deal to make all our gifts from the start of the engagement until the wedding to be about the wedding. (He proposed to me on my birthday with my engagement/wedding ring so his next birthday, I did the same. Christmas was the clothing for the rehearsal dinner and the next birthdays were our clothes for the honeymoon. Etc.) We made our own CD's for the music and the equipment at the rehearsal hall was under $200. The snacking trays were fruit and cheeses we had boxed up for us to use the next day when we opened our gifts. The dinner was expensive. The toasts, we bought. The bar was cash. The gifts, we did a registry. And we made it known they weren't necessary and that gift cards were welcome as well as suggesting purchasing similar gifts elsewhere and having the item removed from the registries. We went to a variety of stores and price ranges. Every gift got a handwritten thank you note from my husband and/or myself. Some from close friends were written by both of us. We bought all the attendant gifts as we went and they were on sale. All the men got watches and the women lockets. The children got little versions of the adult gifts. All total, the wedding was less than $4000 and very extravagant in feel.
I would recommend discussing all aspects with all aspects. We were just leaving college and relatively poor. When discussing our plans with the hotel hosting the reception, they graciously donated a small room so we could end the night at our leisure. We paid for one of their smaller conference rooms. When they sold out the conference rooms, they upgraded us to a ballroom for free to help make our evening more special. All this because they knew us and what our plans were. The hotel on our honeymoon, upgraded us when they were booked to a better view. Again, we had been personable with them and told them of our hopes for our memories.

Lynn of CO 1:43PM August 22, 2008

As a broke 23 year old, as all our friends start to get married it adds up. Check out their registry and find something reasonable/cheap and go from there. Our friends who got married last summer had a $25 cooler on there and a couple of us bought it and filled it with every thing from picnic needs to some dollar store gag gifts. It was a hit!

CR of OH 1:39PM August 22, 2008