When Young People's High Hopes Create Despair

April 7, 2009 RSS Feed Print
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As I was reading a recent story in Slate on 20-somethings complaining about how the economy was ruining their life plans, I couldn't help but think the 20-somethings quoted in the article sounded like a bunch of spoiled brats who grew up expecting everything to be easy for them. As a 20-something myself, I certainly share their frustration: My 401(k) has also plummeted, my husband and I probably won't be able to buy a house until we're in our 40s, and we too are burdened by student loans. But why should it be any different? Isn't part of being a young person in America about embracing all of the challenges, and opportunities, that this country offers?

Consider some of these perspectives shared in the Slate story: Jennifer, 29, owner of a two-bedroom condo with her husband, worries that she won't be able to have children for at least a decade because they can't afford to buy a house yet.

I read that, and I thought, what planet is she living on where you need to own a house in order to have kids? Has she ever visited a developing country, or even downtown areas in this one? Home ownership is a luxury, not a fertility requirement.

A 26-year-old in the story despairs that can't afford to get a Ph.D. in literature and women's studies to study Margaret Atwood's work. Well, that sounds a bit like expressing disappointment that no one will pay you to write poetry on the beach in Thailand for five years. If you want to be able to feed and clothe yourself, you have to find work that people are willing to pay you to do.

Yes, it's sad that these young people feel so lost. But I think the problem is their astronomical expectations, not economic reality. Beth Kobliner, author of Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance in Your Twenties and Thirties, says that she thinks people's expectations are slowly adjusting, but today's 20-somethings grew up at a time when everyone's wealth appeared to be expanding. Their parents probably saw their home values rise along with their investments. "So you have people who have grown up in an environment where people had inflated expectations of what living well means," says Kobliner.

This recession will certainly play a role in forcing those expectations into more realistic alignment. In the meantime, it seems a lot better for our mental health to focus on being grateful -- for our one-bedroom apartments, for living in vibrant cities, or perhaps just for being able to eat three meals a day -- than on lusting after some kind of mythical luxe life.

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A baby boomer.... I think good intentions pave the road to hell. We now have less freedom than ever before.... all the baby boomers know what I'm talking about. The younger people have no clue as to what I'm referring to.

EVERYTHING has become 'overdone' from putting a baby on his stomach - wait...back...wait stomach....wait back - to raising children - god forbid discipline, or spank. Abuse....!!!!! How about suing everyone for everything..... I remember climbing a tree, falling from it - and getting a 'pop' for 'being stupid'...... never once was it "someone else's fault" nor would my parents even THINK to sue....

Not to mention 'not being good in school' and being more afraid of dealing with the aftermath when I got home- more than by the teacher..... I don't think these - now today 'abusive' traits were anything that hurt me...not emotionally, not physcially. It created the BIG word "responsibility" - being responsible for yourself....it is really 'void' today as it's always 'someone else's' fault...whatever it is. We have become a coddled, non-disciplined, bunch of whiners. Taking music lessions for 24 years taught me discipline - real discipline - along with strict parents who expected a certain behavior.....never one day did I think I wasn't loved.....

All I know is that everything is overkill.....a good idea - run until it's ugly....like playing with a computer until you break it. We need to backwards to go forwards - back to parents raising their children without fear....and a little fear for a child - is not a bad thing.....have a tad fear that they might "get in trouuuuble"..... is not a bad thing....having a derrent is not a bad thing. How is this "My child doesn't do anything wrong" working for everyone?????

Frant of NJ 5:12PM December 20, 2010

Every age has its concerns. In the 60's I took a "National Defense Loan" from the government to go to school with the promise that, if I taught in a low socio-economic setting for 9 years the loan would be forgiven. I sent in the paperwork for meeting those requirements for many years and then, guess what--THEY CHANGED THE LAW!!! The government then took my tax refund for two years until the 'balance' of the loan was paid, which was actually more than I borrowed! (It was supposed to be an interest free loan!)

My state of Georgia then told me that if I worked to secure National Board Certification they would increase my salary by 10 percent. I did that and raised my standard of living with a better car, paid off debt, traveled a little and then, guess what--THEY CHANGED THE LAW!!!! Not only did they take away 10 percent of my salary they added a total of 19 furlough days and shortened my contract by another 10 days!!!! We wonder why so many people are going under???? Do tell!!! I'm a single head of household with a handicapped child--tell me what to do and I'll go looking for it!!! This is impossible!!!! The land of the free has become the land of the deprived, and unjustly so!!!!

Jan Hyatt of GA 8:23AM November 19, 2010

I think the most difficult about growing up as a slightly older Gen X'er is that our parents didn't talk to us about money. They never discussed the bills, how much they made, how or if they invested or what they were doing to plan for retirement. They just basically told us to study hard and get good grades, go to college and find a career you enjoy. That's all good until the credit card companies started sending free credit to us in college and so many of us thought we could "buy now, pay later." We didn't expect our lifestyle to change once we were on our own because we had no idea what our lifestyle cost. We were told to "dress for success" which can be expensive if you don't have much coming in. And, we were told that hard work pays off, but no one ever discussed the social networking aspect to getting a promotion. Back then we were too young to be paid much. And, now, we're being told our age is our "limiting factor" because a new graduate can get the job done for less money even if we have more experience. I am just wondering, if I was too inexperienced and young back then and I'm too outdated and expensive to hire now, when exactly was I supposed to be in the "prime" of my career? I wish someone would have told me.

If you are one of the lucky few who did make it to the upper level of corporate America, then do the rest of us a favor and don't screw anything else up, please. You have the future of a lot of Americans resting upon your good decisions and we would like to think you made it to your position today because you actually know what you are doing. Things are already messed up for us. Let's try to change the trend so our children will have something to look forward to. We're already offering them a world with education budget cuts, school closings and house foreclosures. We've let insurance companies take away the dignity once held by medical professionals. Attorneys spend their time suing anyone and everyone for anything. Social Security is predicted to fall apart. Investments have tanked.

No wonder there are the hockey Dads and Beauty Pagent Moms out there. We are all hurting to realize our own childhood dreams and we couldn't figure out how to do it the first time around, so our children are the only hope we have. Sadly, they are growing up faster than ever. I don't think that surprises any of us who are realizing the sad fact that we didn't grow up when we should have, expecting to just have things handed to us, and now we are paying the price.

Lynn Miller of GA 9:30AM October 26, 2010

Alpha Consumer

Kimberly Palmer, senior editor for U.S. News & World Report, writes about making smarter financial decisions. She’s the author of Generation Earn: The Young Professional's Guide to Spending, Investing, and Giving Back.

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