The Rise of the Stay-At-Home Dad

I have ran a home-based E-Commerce Marketing and Distribution Firm since 2001 which supported myself, my wife and two daughters. My Wife and I were able to stay home and raise our children.....an awesome experience and the reason, I beleive, my two daughtrers are "well-rounded" children. The recession of 2007 hit my business hard and after burning through our savings from the "good" years my wife and I both started to look for careers outside the home. My wife, Sharon, was the first one to find a full-time position with the FBI and this meant I became the primary caregiver for my daughters. All our freinds call me Mr. Mom or Mrs. Dad, and at first I was not comfortable with the title, and my in-laws probably are not thrilled, BUT, I LOVE WHAT I DO. I just recently told a family member what my responsibilities and services are and they include: Father, Dad, Husband, Coach, Entrepreneur, Mentor, Chef, Kid Transport Executive, Pool Service Technician, Groundskeeper/Landscaper, Laundry Technician (part-time), Executive Grocery Shopper, Nurse, Animal Caregiver, Trash Technician, Car Wash Technician, Soccer Dad, Softball Dad, Insect/Ant Abatement Technician, Carpet Cleaner Technician, School Counsel Board Member, and Homework/Research Executive Assistant. As my wife tells me "I couldn't have the career I have without you being home", and after I became the sole stay-at-home parent, I beleive she is right. If we both worked outside the home, I am not sure we would be successful at everything we do. Don't get me wrong, we need to make more money to dig ourselves out of the hole the recession put us in, but at the same time, I firmly beleive our kids would suffer and I will sacrafice my short-term goals to make sure my kids have one of us around.....it's vital in today's world. So, at this time we are doing our best to keep "the wheels moving forward", and while I am able to stay home to run my business, care for our children, look after all home related issues then we will keep this situation operational. Now, from time to time, I do feel that I am not doing enough for the family from a finaincial standpoint if my monthly sales are down, and at times I feel inadequate being labeled a "Mr. Mom", and at times I feel bad when our kids want something and I say "no, we can't afford it right now" but when I take them to school and pick them up, when I go to soccer/softball practices/games, when I am able to got to school events, when I am able to pick them up from school when they are sick, when I am able to fix them a snack after school, when I am able to be not only their Father, their Dad, but also their friend.......that's when I say. " I love what I do", and when I see a child that has an absent Father/Mother in their life, that's when I am thankful for my current situation. Despite all my inadequacies that other people like to exploit or make fun of.....I know one thing....I can look back and say that I did not fail at raising my daughters.

Curt Nordal of CA 7:32PM September 19, 2011

My fiance is a stay at home dad, not by choice however! He has been unable to get a decent job and its not worth paying for daycare for him to have a part-time job; therefore until something stable comes aroud for him its just easier for him to stay home! Plus I work third shift at my job therefore its nice to know that my 4 year old and 2 month old are able to stay at home and in there beds with there father as suppose to a baby sitter. We do need two income but are surviving off of mine and personally it doesnt bother me! Like I said before, id rather have my kids at home with their dad as suppose to a stranger!

Kush of VA 12:58AM March 18, 2011

My husband stays home with our son, because it makes financial sense and is best for our babe! I am a physician and he is an artist and real estate agent. I have a very successful private solo practice, I love my work, and it would make no sense for our family for me to drop what I do and stay home. While this choice seems so obvious to us, I have been stunned by my family's reaction to my husband's decision to stay home with our son. The same parents that encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be, regardless of gender, are incredibly suspicious of my husband for staying home with the baby! I have pointed out to them their lapse in critical thinking on this one, and I think they are coming around. There is a double standard out there, and I wish there weren't. Because my husband stays home, I was able to breastfeed our son throughout the first year of life as my husband drove him the short distance to my office everyday for lunch :) I do not feel the mommy guilt while at work, because I know that my baby is with his very capable daddy. Let me also say that this has been very therapeutic for my husband . . . his parents divorced when he was very young, his father virtually vanished and he was then raised by a single mother who worked 80 hours a week leaving him to effectively be raised by his sister. Bonding with his child like this has been the sweetest experience for him, so much more healing than therapy :) My only wish is that people would be more accepting of this choice! We accept that women can be professionals . . . why can't we accept that a man can stay at home with the children?

laura of CA 2:21AM October 05, 2009

In 1993 I lost my teaching job and my wife happened to land a job. We had three young children at the time, two in diapers. I began my career as a full time stay at home dad and I delivered newspapers in the morning before my wife went to work to earn a little money. Those 5 years I stayed home with the children reaped so many rewards. People always comment on how grounded and happy they are.

No daycare could have every provided the love, care and attention that I gave my own children. Yes, we did live on very little money for a number of years. When the kids were in school, and pretty independent, I went back to school and got a masters in speech pathology and now have a great job. The years I spent at home raising my children, observing them, learning and playing with them was not only helped develop a strong bond with them, it also was great training for how to teach children in a loving way.

I will say that staying home and raising children requires patience and commitment. Also, I did feel the sting of comments from people who could not accept the fact that a Man was capable of caring for children.I just brushed them off. The media is filled with funny caricatures of men who are failures at domestic chores. What they don't show is just how versatile men can be.

Not only can we often cook, clean, play with children, be creative, remodel the house, fix all manner of stuff, but can also care for children.

My wife was wonderful with the kids when she stayed home with them. But, we both agree that I was actually better suited to be with them at home. I really love kids and enjoyed it. I think that is important. If you don't enjoy children, then staying home with them all day, is not a good thing. Kids will pick up on that instantly. Some people just can't handle being with kids. They need to be in he adult world.

Dean Vanderbush of OR 3:25PM July 08, 2009