Rick Newman

What It Is, If It's No Longer a 'Recession'

September 22, 2010 RSS Feed Print

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We can't call it a recession anymore—the group of economists that determines such things has declared that the recession officially ended in June 2009. But it sure doesn't feel like a recovery. A year after the recession ended, the unemployment rate is more than three percentage points higher than it was at the worst point of the 2001 recession, and two points higher than the worst point of the 1991 downturn. So today's "recovery" is worse than the recessions of yore.

[See why there's no joy over the end of the recession.]

Many things have changed permanently, so maybe it's time to come up with some new economic terms to describe what we're going through right now. In the '70s they endured "malaise," a moody type of thing that will forever be associated with Jimmy Carter's fussy pessimism. Japan soldiered through a "lost decade" in the '90s, and for their trouble, they ought to be able to keep sole claim on that descriptor. "Stagnation" captures what many of us feel, but that's just part of the problem.

What we need is a more grandiloquent phrase to describe an era characterized by hardships we never planned for, falling living standards we can't control, broken promises, political dysfunction, and the nagging frustration that comes from not knowing whom to blame (certainly not ourselves). Here are my suggestions. Leave your own in the comments following this story, or E-mail them to flowchart@usnews.com.

Precession. The dark moment right before the next recession hits.

Permacession. Something's not right, forever.

[See 11 firms that overdid the layoffs.]

Russession. Life seems better, as long as you drink a lot of vodka.

The Postprosperous Era. Getting ahead is so yesterday.

Rationalizationomics. I don't really need material things to be happy. No problem just living out of this box here.

The Middling Ages. Mediocrity suits me just fine.

The Paleomodern Era. Literally "old" and "new" at the same time. Posting Facebook updates about your homeless nights on a park bench.

[See how to tell when the recession's really over.]

Barbellism. There's rich and poor and little in between.

Revenge of the Trailer Parks. They don't seem so bad any more.

Trickle-Down Syndrome. The endless wait for the rising living standards that were supposed to result from the 2001 and 2003 Bush tax cuts. Maybe if we just extend them for another decade or two…

Stimulaxation. Trillions of dollars of government spending runs right through the economy.

The Letdown Years. You worked hard, raised good kids, saved for retirement, then went broke. Life's not a Hallmark card.

[See 7 stressors sapping the middle class.]

Baffluenza. The bafflement that comes from realizing we once believed chrome kitchen appliances would make us happy.

China Envy. Oh, to have a government that works.

Refudiationism. Whoever Sarah Palin blames, that's who did it.

Greenspam. An era of wishful thinking that turns out to be flim-flam.

Loanership Society. You don't own that home, you're only borrowing it from the bank for a while. Eventually, they'll want it back.

Ambitionesia. Forgetting what it's like to feel motivated.

[See how to manage a bad boss, and a lame economy.]

Job holiday. The whole country isn't laid off, it's just relaxing for a while.

Double-Dip With Sprinkles. Recessions keep happening, but Washington makes us feel better with a $9 monthly tax rebate.

Pawnopoly. Pawn brokers take over all the mall space abandoned by bankrupt chains.

Povertainment. We learn to appreciate the simple pleasure of taking our kids to the Dumpster for fun.

Farmageddon. When all else fails, get some goats and start growing your own food.

Mepossession. Reclaiming control of your life. How do you do that again?

Promotion Fatigue. It's soooo tiring trying to get ahead.

[See 3 ways Obama could boost hiring.]

Freecession. Everybody can have a job, as long as they work for free.

Goldman Sacession. Goldman Sachs is doing fine and that's all that matters.

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Back when Bush was President, he screamed about everything being Clinton's fault, for the first TWO years in office! I said, "When is BUSH gonna start being President"!
NOW, I'll say the SAME thing about Obama! If he wants the $400,000 PAYCHECK, he needs to STEP UP TO THE PLATE! Because BUSH, has been gone for TWO YEARS now! OBAMA is President! OBAMA is cashing the $400,000 a year check and it's time for OBAMA, to start being held ACCOUNTABLE!
Oh, how I LONG, for a President to say once again...."The Buck Stops HERE"!

John C of NE 2:51PM December 29, 2010

Ask yourself this question. What would happen if psychology, economics, and world religions were taught in high school? Would the kids have a better understanding of how others think and ( re)act? What if we make it more of a requirement to take 2 years of American history to have a better understanding of how to build and maintain a country and not to make the mistakes of the past? With micro and macro economics the students would understand how not to allow those who take and waste our money to continue. I wonder who is controlling the education of our youth and are you just playing cards during those school committee meeting.

Bob Jones of MA 11:35AM December 20, 2010

Remember in college when you wanted more cash to help you out when you wanted to play more. Go back to the depression, who did the President go to to bail out the country? Who do the Democrats go to fund all their social programs? They go to daddy. Who do the poor and middle class cry to because they don't have enough fun? The cry to daddy. Who creates all the jobs in America that the poor and middle class are not educationally ready to have? Daddy creates all those jobs. Who constitutes 70% of all small businesses in this country, works 12-15 hours a day, works for 20 years to build the jobs and pays most of the taxes? Daddy that's who. Who spends their time asking daddy to share their wealth with the poor and middle class who spend their time playing in school while daddy is studying to be on top? The poor and middle class that's who. You wonder who really is the problem with the decline in America, all those politicians and others who want to stop the upward thinking and move everyone down on the level of the do nothing, playing folks who spend most of their time at playing, concerts, drinking, parties, listening to music, and just not accomplishing ANYTHING to build up America. So Democrats stop asking daddy to help you continue your play time. You don't want to help build America. You just want to stop all those who are building America. You want to make life so taxing ( get it) that people will not want to get into small businesses and hire neighbors who will have more pride in themselves and become models for their children. You want to slow down progress that all the rest of the world looks to for inspiration. Where else in the world do people die in the oceans to get to. Daddy should not give you anything but a chance to educate yourself and to be a more productive member of America. Leave Daddy alone and allow him to continue to build America. With less taxes he can build up his business and hire more people who will pay taxes and contribute to the local economy. These people will give back to America except taking from America in the form of handouts that are paid for by you know who---Daddy. If it was up to the Democrats, Bill Gates and Microsoft would not have happened. I wonder what would have happened to the largest company in the world that has created more large and in charge DADDIES than anyone else in the world. What have they done with their millions to help out their communities? What happens when Daddy dies? so does the family structure unless it is left strong to stand on its own two feet from sea to shinning sea. By the way, I'm Black and grew up in the ghetto in the northeast. Have two masters degrees paid for by myself. Married to another black women from college who worked her way through and two college graduate children who wanted to be just like their mom and DADDY. Grow up America and watch who you vote for and what they stand for. If you don't like America, get out and leave the rest of us alone.

Bob Jones of MA 11:18AM December 20, 2010

What It Is, If It's No Longer a 'Recession'

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