'UFO Octopus' Destroys Wind Turbine; Gore Fears for Life

Coming next: Loch Ness Monster Cause of All Water Pollution, Yeti Melts Polar Ice Caps.

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A few British papers are running a story, based on eyewitness reports, that an "Octopus-shaped UFO" swept through Lincolnshire, UK and destroyed a wind turbine, lopping off one blade and twisting another.

Well, this explains everything. Polluted water? It's because of the Loch Ness Monster. Melting ice caps? blame the Yeti. If we could manage to catch a unicorn, their magical powers would help us get to 350 million parts per million of atmospheric carbon dioxide. Rather than being man-made, global warming is monster-made.  Al Gore probably anticipated this, and is hiding in a monster-proof, alien-proof bunker, trembling (he's purchased offsets for his emergency generator, of course). Clearly, he is next on the octopus alien army's list.

Or, you could believe that the blade was blown off by some errant fireworks, or ice that had built up on the blades. Whatever.

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