"what does one person do if no bank accounts or credit cards are in your name only in the husband ,s name and all the income is in his name and he won,t give the wife money"
I am going through this now for two years. Depending on your situation if you can begin divorce proceedings (just file the paper work), then you can get spousal support. Most attorneys will defer payments knowing you will win a judgement, or if you win your attorney can ask that your husband pay attys. fee. This is the beginning to getting back on your feet. If a judge sees that you have been kept from money deliberately then usually the judge has no mercy even if the spouse makes outrageous claims. My spouse is claiming I have past drinking issues and he keeps money from me because of that. However, usually there are other forms of abuse besides economic abuse that a spouse commits and if you can prove that abuse those excuses to retain power go out the window. Most times abusers make claims that really are not legally true. See a lawyer and if you can't afford one at least find one where you can freely consult with. If you have a good case they will take it knowing you will end up with a judgement. The best bet is to ensure you take up furthering your education you then can get alimony after the divorce. One way or another he will have to pay up, especially if you live in a state where a spouse is entitled to 50%.
Treof PA12:02PM February 18, 2013
There is little to NO help for victims of financial and emotional abuse. Not even the federal government cares. I find it difficult and inexcusable to segment aid provided to DV victims. Most days i find little to live for as no one cares. His the effects of his abuse are still occurring. Homeless, jobless, hungry, scared, alone and worst yet hopeless.
Julie Huntof CA4:05PM February 02, 2013
Can a wife take money from say a walmart money card that her name is not on
markof OH12:56AM December 01, 2012
what does one person do if no bank accounts or credit cards are in your name only in the husband ,s name and all the income is in his name and he won,t give the wife money
kay krauseof PA3:33PM November 27, 2012
I'm so tired of seeing articles like this one - plan ahead, save on your own.... right, because we survivors always knew this would happen to us so we saved for that very rainy day. Right.
My divorce from my abuser resulted in a total financial loss of over $765,000 - including my house foreclosing (because he walked away with a huge sum of cash and just bought outright). I got my kids - with his parental rights terminated. That also means, in my state, he's released from paying child support. So the moral here is that you can be twisted and dangerous but as long as you hold the financial cards, you'll be fine.
For me, I was homeless with 3 kids for about 16 months. I have no credit, got turned down for everything from jobs to apartments to cell phones. My credit score was 780+ before this. I left my job because he was tracking me with it - started a new career and have to re-work my way to financial solvency. Nothing will ever be simple and my children will never go to college because I can't help them get loans and I can no longer pay for it; braces, prom, all of it is gone now. I make about $300/yr too much to qualify for any help but I supposed to say how proud I am that I escaped with my life.
The imbalance is unbelievable - the frustration is crushing. I am educated and tough and yet there are days when I can't comprehend what has happened to me and my children....
Don't write articles saying everything will be ok - or that a little planning and patience will help DV survivors. It gives our abusers permission to feel ok about what they've done - and diminishes the condition we are left in. Be fair - be honest - or don't write it.
Niciof IL3:44PM November 04, 2012
I am a domestic violence SURVIVOR! There are resources out there to help finacially, as well.
Tina Goetzof MI2:07AM October 09, 2012
My experience is that NO ONE will help you. You have to help yourself. I got out, but he has ruined my credit. I had to quit my great paying job to get my vacation pay after they refused to provide a paycheck advance and i couldn't secure a personal loan. I cannot find a place to live. I've been homeless for going 3 months. My family has turned their back on me. Life seems so sad and hopeless. I have little motivation to live. He owes me over $150K. I'm so angry and hurt by how wrong he did me that I find it difficult to move in any direction.
Today i applied for food stamps. I am embarrassed and ashamed.
This month is national domestic violence awareness month. People are not very aware.
Hopeless of CA2:45AM October 08, 2012
And one more thing as to some of the comments on here. I agree with kimberly - everything should be separate. But also....there is a HUGE difference between being 'taken advantage of' financially and being 'abused financially'. Being abused to my way of thinking is either ruining someones financial wealth as an obnoxious TOOL or WEAPON or to actually (like what has happened to me) try to CONTROL a human beings basic freedoms in their life by keeping money from them. The closer I've gotten to leaving my husband he tries everything he can to pull me back in to the hell of abuse and disrespect with him.
Kof IL10:25AM October 05, 2012
This was a ridiculous fluff article with very little REAL help. If you don't have access to gas money or a place to live or a job....this will not help you whatsoever. I tried to do things in this way and take a little money out of the joint bank account, opened my own account with it and bought a signed a personal mortgage type agreement with a landowner who was online, not reporting to any credit agency, etc...so that I could at least have a place to go and live camping if I had to.
My husband found the money missing in the savings account, went to the bank and the ignorant woman there told him that I opened up my own checking and savings. She has no idea how MISERABLE AND HELL-ISH she has made my life since that time a year ago. He immediately closed the accounts and has since, withheld all the money. I can't even get sanitary pads and he won't buy them, so I have to cut up towels to use, that is how sickening it is here. I'm supposed to cook the food of his choice that he brings home and I can't go anywhere or buy anything, etc...I've been trying to get a job and have had no luck yet. I just think this blog could be a little more helpful about what the heck to do when you are literally cut off from every speck of money.
Kof IL10:16AM October 05, 2012
How can you possibly sign an adult up for loans or credit cards without their knowledge? Wouldn't their presence and signature be required? Otherwise, we could all sign each other up for loans and saddle our expenses to each other.
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Tre of PA 12:02PM February 18, 2013
Julie Hunt of CA 4:05PM February 02, 2013
mark of OH 12:56AM December 01, 2012
kay krause of PA 3:33PM November 27, 2012
Nici of IL 3:44PM November 04, 2012
Tina Goetz of MI 2:07AM October 09, 2012
Hopeless of CA 2:45AM October 08, 2012
K of IL 10:25AM October 05, 2012
K of IL 10:16AM October 05, 2012
Kevin of AL 2:45PM September 20, 2012