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10 Ways You'll Erode Trust

June 27, 2008 RSS Feed Print

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Michael Wade

One of the most important characteristics of a truly successful person is the ability to inspire and maintain trust. Many otherwise decent people erode trust by slipping into these habits:

1. Make a commitment to another person and later switch your position without giving that person timely and explicit notice. You may have a good reason for that switch, but that won't matter much if the other person feels betrayed.

2. Over-promise and under-deliver. Many a rising star has fallen because others relied upon loosely made promises and were embarrassed when those were not fulfilled.

3. Don't return phone calls. That's the silent way of saying, "You don't count." If you're busy, leave a quick message to buy time for a more lengthy discussion, but get back with the person.

4. Don't return E-mails. Our technology gives us new and faster ways to show our indifference.

5. Inflate your words of praise. Your words are your currency. Why devalue them?

6. Take credit for the work of others. Do you really think they won't notice?

7. Don't admit mistakes. This may be both a denial of responsibility and of reality. Gain credibility by promptly "fessing up" to your blunders.

8. Fail to provide reasonable support to others. The resentment this creates may last for years.

9. Be hypocritical. The gap between your words and your actions can be detected in nanoseconds.

10. Deceive. This is a giant trust-killer. All of us have occasionally strayed from the truth, either by outright lying or through deception. Even well-intentioned lies possess the potential to explode and damage credibility. Ethicist Michael Josephson asks, "How many times do you have to lie to be a liar?" One time can be sufficient to sink a career.

Michael Wade writes Execupundit.com, an eclectic combination of management advice, observations, and links. A partner with the Phoenix firm of Sanders Wade Rodarte Consulting Inc., he has advised private and public-sector organizations for more than 30 years.

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Making a commitment to another person creates a state of emotional reliance and
trust in that individual. When your position is switched whether in your relationship
or on an issue without notice: the trust which prevailed is instantly shattered. A form
of hypersensitivity and anxiety is born once the betrayal has initially occurred, and the
chances of recovering trust in that individual and your relationship with them is highly
unlikely. The individual who switches loyalties in any manner, unknowingly will pay
the price of no return to that previous state of trust and relationship.

Ann Norberg of CA 11:13AM September 11, 2011

Well true on many things but we do improve by learning from others as best we can. Improvement in ones self is the main goal and we all fall short, trying to improve and catch our goof's as best we can one day at a time.

Rick of CA 6:19PM December 15, 2009

...sorry but I think we have gone too far in the "imorrality hole" to be ever come out of it. We have had a generation or two of "me first" and thus have now left a generation of our offspring that will alway only look after itself, regarless to how they do it.
I may sound pessimistic but truly that is how I feel each day as I deal with people who are in trustee positions.

Salim Jaffer Kanji 11:27PM November 21, 2009