The fact is, you don't have to be the manager to not be liked in the workplace. I have seen productive staff be disliked by unproductive staff or union staff be disliked by non-union staff. You name it...people can find a way to dislike others in the workplace.
The fact is that even if you are the lowest ranking staff on the seniority list, if you are "deeply invested in trying to be liked by everyone", you've lost focus.
I agree with J.T. that "liking" is more about making employees feel valued and appreciated.
Great post as usual.
Marcie
BullsEyeResumes of PA2:43AM July 20, 2008
She's saying you can't be well liked by EVERYONE, not that you can't be liked by ANYONE. I can't think of any good boss I had who was liked by every person, she's right.
Jennof CO9:04AM July 09, 2008
I agree with your headline but disagree with your statement that being effective and well-liked can't go together. My research shows quite the opposite.
In the Great Supervisor research we identified supervisors who were rated excellent by three groups: superiors, peers, AND subordinates. Their teams consistently performed well and also had high morale.
After over thirty years of looking at this issue, I offer the following. People want prefer to work for a boss they like if that boss is also effective. Nobody likes to work for a jerk. Nobody likes to work for a friendly incompetent.
Wally Bockof NC7:40PM July 08, 2008
Hey, J.T. I agree that good managers should be liked by the *majority* of their staffs -- because if you're doing a good job hiring and managing, most of your staff will be excellent ... but you can't manage long-term without having the occasional problem person -- the person who will dislike you for the reasons I talk about above. So there will be some people (hopefully few, but still some) who just aren't going to like you. And managers need to be okay with that.
Alison Greenof DC1:49PM July 08, 2008
I guess I equate well liked with respected and valued. And I feel like I know more than a few successful managers who are well-liked because the majority of their staff respects and appreciates them.
I see three common traits in these managers:
1) They understand the fact that how they allow/encourage their team to treat them impacts their success/likability.
2) They are highly consistent and dependable in what they say and do, especially, in challenging situations.
3) They hire individuals who share their values and approach to difficult situations.
I agree, there will always be a few curmudgeons in the group, but for the most part, I do think you can be a great leader and be well liked.
Great post as always - so glad to get them weekly Alison!
J.T. O'Donnellof NH1:25PM July 08, 2008
Hello Alison! I have been reading your blog for some time, and it's nice to finally "meet" you!
I'm particularly glad for your final paragraph, here -- and the fact that tough-nosed-you were the one to write it. Too many HR columnists these days are harping on the recession, and how important it is therefore for potential employees to be fantastic in every way... forgetting that "employment" is, by definition, recession or no, a two party system. Without employees, there would not be any employers, either.
So no indeed, managers should not try to win any popularity contests. My fear, though, is that too many column inches these days focus on hacking away at the big bad employee jungle. Many companies might do better to irrigate their employer desert, instead.
You have, in fact, already inspired a blog post of my own today. Perhaps you would like to read it, here:
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BullsEyeResumes of PA 2:43AM July 20, 2008
Jenn of CO 9:04AM July 09, 2008
Wally Bock of NC 7:40PM July 08, 2008
Alison Green of DC 1:49PM July 08, 2008
J.T. O'Donnell of NH 1:25PM July 08, 2008
almostgotit of TN 9:21AM July 08, 2008