That was really non-useful advice. Laughing minimizes what has actually taken place. Thanks you Linda Gordon Howard for a professionsl response that drives home the serious nature of the offense.
Bonnie Nichollsof NV5:34PM October 06, 2008
Linda, Very well stated. To laugh off sexual harassment behavior is exactly opposite of what one should do. Thank you for your level-headed & sage advice!
Paula Kestersonof CA5:26PM October 06, 2008
Sorry, but I don't agree with your article. Laughter, in most cases, just keeps it coming and is a poor communication tool when it comes to sexual or any type of harrassment. The best communication tool is "stop now!"
Very poor and unprofessional article.
Lori A.of CA5:19PM October 06, 2008
Laughing at sexual harassment is the worst idea I've ever heard! When this gets to court and the attorney asks what you did to stop the harassment, does Karen Burns mean to say that we should tell the judge that one of 5 forms of laughter was used to discourage the offender?...that we meant it in the most discouraging way?...what do you mean it didn't sound as if we were scornful or diabolical?...I can't understand why he/she didn't get the message!
I have to wonder where Karen Burns received her training!
Randi Nashof CA5:08PM October 06, 2008
I have dealt with sexual harassment with laughter which is unfortunately my first instinct. I say unfortunately because this has the effect of making the harasser think that this behavior is acceptable, fun or even entertaining.
For smaller offenses such as comments or inappropriate jokes, I believe that it is best to choose somewhere in the middle, letting them know it is unacceptable without making a huge deal out of it.
If that doesn't deter them, then other more drastic steps may be called for. Either way, a sure way to let them think they did nothing wrong and assure that they will do it again is to laugh.
Melissaof AL5:07PM October 06, 2008
Unfortunately, some of us are not good at projecting 'scornful' or snide laughter. A better and more professional response really is to state that the behavior is offensive and inappropriate and you expect it not to be repeated. This leaves not doubt in the offender's mind that you are serious in your response. Sexual harassment is a touchy subject and the offender needs to know clearly that he or she is over the borderline into unacceptable behavior.
LD Rayof TX4:46PM October 06, 2008
Really? Someone started a professional article with "It's a fact of life. Sexual harassment is never going to go away"? As an HR professional I've never read something so silly - then it continued - Laugh at them she advises. Well playing the game of sexual harassment is not how you change the behavior and I truly beleive the behavior can change.
Chrisi Rogersof VA4:30PM October 06, 2008
I have to say that I was shocked at the advice given.
Playing it off with "laughter" no matter how you spin it does not seem to be the best approach. Tell the person in no uncertain terms that he/she is out of line and immediately report it.
Lisaof TX3:52PM October 06, 2008
The first time one of my previous bosses said something like: "(heheh)Hey, I'll show you mine if you show me yours," I looked at him quite blankly, because I had no idea why he would have said this or how I should respond.
However, his response to my calm, uncomprehending gaze was quite interesting -- he got all twitchy and embarrassed, which also informed me that yes, he really had just said something inappropriate.
I've since read that feigning complete ignorance and asking "What do you mean?" works against a variety of harrasing comments, snide asides, insults, and other assorted inappropriate remarks as well.
almostgotit.comof TN7:06PM October 03, 2008
I enjoyed reading this article.
The variety of comments and passion fueling them just go to show how serious this issue still is for many women.
I have been around a few misbehaving men at work over the years. When I was younger, my response was always a version of your #3. Something along the lines of, "I am so shocked at what you just said that I'm now tongue-tied and don't know what to do so I'll just keep my mouth shut and/or squeak out a nervous muffled giggle and hope you never say that to me again!"
But I learned that didn't work. The behavior continued and I continued to feel uncomfortable around them.
Today I'm much more experienced in the work world and feel more empowered. I try to respond honestly, tactfully and clearly by saying, "Hey, I'm not OK with what you just said" or something to that effect and it stops them in their tracks.
I'm so glad you wrote about this topic and helped being more awareness to the choices we have in how to respond to someone saying something in appropriate to us at work. -Whitney Keyes, www.WhitneyKeyes.com
Reader Comments
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Bonnie Nicholls of NV 5:34PM October 06, 2008
Paula Kesterson of CA 5:26PM October 06, 2008
Lori A. of CA 5:19PM October 06, 2008
Randi Nash of CA 5:08PM October 06, 2008
Melissa of AL 5:07PM October 06, 2008
LD Ray of TX 4:46PM October 06, 2008
Chrisi Rogers of VA 4:30PM October 06, 2008
Lisa of TX 3:52PM October 06, 2008
almostgotit.com of TN 7:06PM October 03, 2008
Whitney Keyes of WA 8:42PM October 02, 2008