He researches what makes people happy, and helps to shed light on techniques that people use to deal with adversity.
Learn about "cognitive re-framing" of issues that need to be dealt with.
Coworker driving you up the wall 24/7? Maybe you can do better, so you get out more resumes, just to see if better work cultures (and better pay) miraculously surface, despite the slow-as-molasses economic recovery.
Job boring? View it as a "resume builder" and a chance to hit some goals while you're there, then move on later (view it as shorter term, so you feel less bored, and more motivated to excel in the short term).
Boss a complete misogynist pig? Excellent time to join Ladies Who Launch (http://www.ladieswholaunch.com) and figure out how to start your OWN company, sista.
See? You learn to "re-frame" everything, instead of just feeling dismal about whatever is buggin' ya.
Marty Seligman's research is fab-u-lous.
Ending note...
The best antidote to things you fear is to expose yourself to it more. That's how people in therapy for phobias master the fear. If it works for people deathly afraid of spiders or enclosed spaces, it can certainly work for less severe forms of fear.
Martin Seligman. "Positive Psychology" and "Authentic Happiness." Two great books written by the father of positive psychology.
: )
Fear Notof IL11:24PM July 19, 2010
This article is great!
I am a sixty year old woman. I will have to admit that fear has caused me to either never gain what I could have or lose what I have already had. Now, I feel it is just to late to try for anything. I have been desperately searching for a new job for two years after being laid off. It is the most awful feeling in the world. If you were to ask me today why I have not succeded in life it is from "fear" and my own physical weight!" One seems to feed off the other.
LRof SC8:11PM July 19, 2010
Kelli, that Napoleon Hill quote brings up a good point. The people we surround ourselves with day in and day out can have a huge impact on how we see the world. Which do they feed, fear or possibility?
Curt Rosengrenof WA1:09PM July 19, 2010
Your article speaks volumes about how people fill their mind with stories relating to fear. Napolean Hill wrote that "without doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence of other people". It was true back in 1937, and it remains true today.
Fear is a state of mind and we have the power to control our thoughts, our state of mind. Many metaphysical books have addressed the issue of the law of attraction, however, we also need to uncover those root beliefs that help feed our fears.
Thanks
Kelli Malcolm, author of Sidestepping the 12 Steps
http://www.howtolivelifefully.com
Kelli Malcolmof CO1:51PM July 18, 2010
amazing images at http://www.blake777.com
blakeof NV5:05PM July 16, 2010
Thanks for the heads up on your book, Lynn. Sounds like a good resource.
I looked through your blog and found your post from last year on fear addiction: http://lynntelfordsahl.com/blog/16/americans-are-addicted-to-fear/
I thought this piece was especially interesting:
"The new brain science demonstrates that the brain’s neural pathways are stimulated by repeated emotions. The more we feel afraid, stressed, or sad, the more susceptible we become to those states. Over time these feelings become habituated. Much like the alcoholic who can’t stop drinking, the news or drama/trauma junkie, gets a sort of high.
What’s the solution? Awareness and retraining our attention to seek out the positive."
That puts what is happening with the fear fixation in an even more real context.
Curt Rosengrenof WA9:27PM July 15, 2010
Curt:
I so agree with your comment about folks being addicted to fear and feeding it, often without realizing we're doing so. In fact, I so agree I wrote a book about it - Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom -
As an addiction counselor and a recovering fear addict I know letting go of it is a re-training of the mind and a conscious, aware choice to stay focused on what we want to experience. Of course I have my ups and downs as every one does, and have put together specific strategies to help myself and others cope with stress & anxiety.
Reader Comments
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El of MI 2:04PM October 11, 2010
No Fear of IL 11:54PM July 19, 2010
Fear Not of IL 11:24PM July 19, 2010
LR of SC 8:11PM July 19, 2010
Curt Rosengren of WA 1:09PM July 19, 2010
Kelli Malcolm of CO 1:51PM July 18, 2010
blake of NV 5:05PM July 16, 2010
Curt Rosengren of WA 9:27PM July 15, 2010
Lynn Telford-Sahl of CA 7:30PM July 15, 2010