One point that often gets overlooked is that leaving a job can be a humbling experience. We'd like to think that the place will fall apart without us. We'd like to think that we have to give our bosses more than two-week's notice, since there's no way they could possibly replace someone as valuable as us in such a short timeframe. (Alternatively, we let our boss guilt us into giving them more time because we feel like we're "abandoning" the company). We'd like to think that they'll throw lots of money at us to keep us happy. We'd also like to think that senior management will pay close attention to the feedback we give in our exit interviews.
But most of the time, none of those things are true. The company existed before we got there, and it will continue existing after we leave. As Charles DeGaulle said, "The graveyards are filled with indispensable men."
So plan on giving two week's notice. Don't plan on receiving a counteroffer. Plan on keeping it bland in the exit interview. Are there occasions where you bend those rules? Sure, but those should be your default assumptions.
zftcgof NY6:25PM December 20, 2011
Jan, the boss's reaction reflects poorly on her, not on your partner. The correct way for a boss to respond to a resignation is to congratulate you and tell you how sorry she will be to lose you, and to ask what could have been done differently to make you want to stay. That doesn't mean some bosses don't react poorly; they of course do. But your partner should just stay professional and emphasize what they're planning to do to make it a smooth transition.
Alison Greenof DC3:59PM December 19, 2011
How do you respond to managers who react poorly? My partner just recently quit his job and his boss of 11 years was quite awful about it. He gave the standard two weeks, trained a replacement and made himself available, but was basically ignored and maligned during his last days, until his boss asked him to stay on an additional week (which he declined).
He tried to do the right thing by acting responsibly and not burning any bridges, but it seems to have happened regardless.
Janof ME3:47PM December 19, 2011
My first serious job out of college, I had been semi-promoted to a supervisor position. "Seasonal Project Manager" was the title, I believe. I was one of the up-and-coming rock stars on the team based on what my chain-of-command said.
But after several months, I realized that there was no long-term career path (because of a re-org), a drastically changing company culture (not for the better, IMO), and an indefinite period of 65+ hour weeks. I decided to resign because of it.
I walked up to my boss and asked if we could talk privately.
She said, "What? You're not *Quitting* on me, are you?" trying to be funny/sarcastic. I wasn't expecting that, so I was stuck with a deer-in-headlights look that told her everything she needed to know. She literally dropped the stuff that was in her hands, and walked straight to one of the conference rooms.
I felt awful. Doubly so when another guy who was basically in the same 'rock star' category as me (there were 3 of us on a team of 120+) also announced he was quitting (unbeknownst to me) within a week after I did.
It was rough on the team we left.
My biggest regret was not keeping in better touch and maintaining the connection with those folks.
Josh Sof IL3:33PM December 19, 2011
Perfect timing - I just gave notice this morning and it's good to see I didn't violate any of the above.
Of course, I've been reading Ask A Manager for long enough, it would have been inexcusable if I had.
When someone gives notice with integrity and an eye toward making a smooth transition for the (soon to be) former employer, managers should respect that and do their part for a smooth transition. Not punish the person leaving for being upfront and giving plenty of notice.
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zftcg of NY 6:25PM December 20, 2011
Alison Green of DC 3:59PM December 19, 2011
Jan of ME 3:47PM December 19, 2011
Josh S of IL 3:33PM December 19, 2011
annonymous in IT of IL 3:06PM December 19, 2011