Baby Boomers Supporting Parents, Adult Children

April 22, 2010 RSS Feed Print
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Many baby boomers are helping to financially support both their parents and their adult children. Almost a third (31 percent) of relatively wealthy Americans are supporting older and younger immediate family members at the same time, according to a new Merrill Lynch Wealth Management survey of 1,000 people with investable assets of $250,000 or more.

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In order to support relatives, while at the same time planning their own retirement, many of these affluent baby boomers say they have made lifestyle sacrifices (45 percent) and cut back on personal luxuries (44 percent). A quarter of these retirees sandwiched between eldercare and childcare responsibilities have stopped saving for retirement to take care of more immediate financial needs. Another 12 percent of wealthy baby boomers have stopped saving for a child’s education.

[See Talking About Long-Term Care.]

“Many folks find themselves slipping into the sandwich generation without really understanding the scale of financial commitment involved,” says Andy Sieg, head of retirement and philanthropic services at Bank of America Merrill Lynch. “What starts as a manageable expense increases as your parents become more reliant on you as their health care needs increase.”

About one in five of those surveyed are considering inviting their adult children or parents to return home to cut living expenses for both or all three parties. Women were twice as likely as men to make financial sacrifices in order to better care for others.

[See 7 Reasons to Downsize in Retirement.]

The emotional challenges of caring for relatives may be even more difficult to manage than the financial costs. Some 57 percent of Americans between the ages of 18 and 90 are concerned about the emotional strain of caring for a relative, compared to 49 percent who are worried about paying for long-term care expenses, according to a recent Age Wave and Harris Interactive survey of 2,939 people between the ages of 18 and 90. Many people are also concerned about the affects care giving would have on their lifestyle (21 percent), other family relationships (21 percent), and career (19 percent).

Check out this woman’s story of Cutting Back on Work to Take Care of Mom.

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I think it depends on the boomers aged children,my parents have children born in late 60's to mid 80's.each group was parented different by my parents,my older siblings were and still never really received much money but many lectures,me born in 78 when boomers decided to be friend their children received money while working and basically no curfew and many spring breaks my parents still buy me gifts I don't ask for and still consider me more friendship level,younger siblings born in mid-80's my parents pay their bills still all the time while being helicoptered by my parents.Even as adult my parents still have the same relationships as when we were young and strange phases of parenting Boomers went through.

faeyth of MI 3:01PM June 05, 2010

There is a book and a person who has helped many others with issues related to being "Stuck in the Middle" between raising children and taking care of aging parents.

Please see the website of Barbara McVicker (www.BarbaraMcVicker.com) get her newsletter and check out her book called "Stuck in the Middle." She is a loving and compassionate person. I know her personally!

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen of CO 11:14AM April 25, 2010

Earlier this month my 90-year-old mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer. The doctor who treated her during her stay in the hospital wrote a prescription for a drug called Tarceva and told us the cost for a 30-day supply would be between $5,000 and $7000 depending on her insurance coverage. Medicare, we were told, doesn't cover the expense because it is an experimental drug. We were also told there was no guarantee with the medication. It might prolong her life for six months.

My first question is, what ingredients could be in a pill that would warrant charging that much money?

My mother in law is 90-years-old and spent her entire career as a nurse. If she is being used as a guinea pig, why isn't the drug FREE?

How can a drug company in good conscious charge such an outrageous price for medication knowing the average person who needs it can't afford it?

As caregivers, we don't want to be put in a position where we have decide to let our loved one die because we can't afford the meds.

There are literally thousands of baby boomers just like my husband and me who are caring for aging parents and are facing similar situations.

Beverly Mahone of NC 7:02PM April 24, 2010

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