Paralyzed by Your Possessions? Read On

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AyNSCSfbPXUl of 12:16PM August 10, 2009

I've only just begun this dastardly business of sorting through one's long-forgotten self. Today I took a baby step. I seized the moment as my uncooperative spouse escaped to do run his errands. I took possession of a small portion of the garage and started to re-establish a kinship with shadowy bags and boxes from the past. In the midst of gathering items for a Purple Heart pickup this week, I was confronted with a canvas bag containing stuff from a former self of 35 years ago: thinner, single, working in a New York magazine internsip program. It's moments like this - frozen in recalling all the possibilities and promise - that make downsizing such a daring and fearful chore. But there's about six large bags there in the mud room now, so I guess I muddled through okay for a first attempt. Will it be easier next week?

edda of PA 6:31PM July 28, 2009

My mother committed suicide in 1985 and my father passed away in January 1988. I was left with his tools, which I can still "smell" his presence when I open the toolbox. Mom had written letters to her mom (my grandmother) in 1945. I really want to down-size, but I want to keep part of their possessions, as it feels like I am keeping part of them. I realize this sounds silly, but it is difficult to get rid of sentimental items.
Tom Moore of Ohio

Tom Moore of OH 8:56AM July 13, 2009

Join a Freecycle group. There are 4,770 groups with 6,955,000 members across the globe. You can get a free membership to a local group where you can offer your possessions to the other members. Whoever wants the item has to come and pick it up.
It's great to know that someone else will be using your no-longer needed stuff.
To find a local group, just go to: http://www.freecycle.org/

monique theriault of CA 6:02PM July 03, 2009

My son was 44 when he died 3 years ago. At first I didn't want to get rid of clothes. I was going to remake some of his shirts for me. I put them in a box and opened it a few months ago. I finally gave them to Goodwill. I still have some little things that he saved that mean something only to me. I have started a special bin where I put them and will be able to look at them from time to time. He had an apartment in Manhattan, and a Lodge in upstate NY. I hated having to divide things I wanted, things my daughter wanted, things I wanted her to have and what to sell or give to charity. It's not easy but I am beginning to feel better about some of the things I have given away. I had to integrate his furniture with mine and now my living room is full to the brim. Perhaps some day I will want to give some of them to my daughter but I just enjoy sitting in the chairs knowing that it was something he sat in and enjoyed. He had a lot of antiques which I sold and kept a few for myself. I hated to break up all that he had worked for for so many years. I am glad he is not in pain but having his things keeps him with me and I know I will see him again in heaven. thanks for listening

Carol Gacioch RN RHIA of NC 1:38PM July 02, 2009

I lost both of my parents to cancer by the time i was 48 years old. We had a family farm plus a retirement house to deal with. After a year of dealing with everything, I took home very little--I said to myself --I do not need things to remember my parents!
since I live in the midwest-we deal with tornadoes here--what is important-when it is all said and done-it is the people not the possessions we are most concerned about!
I too felt "freedom" when I could finally "let go" of what belonged to my parents.
10 years later--I made family DVD's of old home movies and shared them with my siblings. We all were thrilled-to think the memories could be on 1 DVD-what a space saver!

Gail Chapman of NE 9:18AM July 02, 2009

Having been responsible for emptying a farmhouse which had been the family home since the 1890's, occupied by three generations of practical folks who saved everything that had potential usefulness, I know too well how things can accumulate. As there were no direct decendents of the last resident at the farm, it became a diplomatic challenge to divide treasured family heirlooms among all 19 cousins. After the important things were moved, it then was most helpful to have a trusted auctioneer help with decisions about the remainder: what was a "good collectible" to sell at auction, what was only going to bring in a little (and sometimes it was impossible to discern the difference myself), and what should fill the roll-away dumpster, twice. One might think the experience would have motivated me to filter my own belongings in the same way - but so far, it's not made it to my active to-do list. However, I think I'm far more likely to tackle it now than I would have been before this process began.

Ellen Newcomer of PA 4:54PM July 01, 2009