What Gives Your Life Meaning and Purpose?

October 22, 2009 RSS Feed Print
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Making a difference, doing something of value, and having a purpose in life. They all stem from a common human need that doesn't disappear with age. However, the perception that you're making a difference may well decline sharply after the end of a career, and the close of a professional life with decades of rich experiences and relationships. And as we get older, our self-perceived worth can take another hit if people have trouble looking beyond our age when they interact with us. All too often, older people aren't valued for what they can offer, and often aren't even expected to participate in activities.

[See 7 Tips for Finding Right Volunteer Work.]

Kay Van Norman writes about aging and wellness and consults with retirement communities. In a piece in the current issue of The Journal on Active Aging, she notes that retirement communities have made great strides in becoming comfortable places for seniors to live. But, she says, opinion polls continue to find that people far prefer to stay in their own homes. They view retirement communities as places they "must" move to, not places they "want" to move to. Why is that? she wonders.

"If senior living priorities matched consumers’ priorities, shouldn’t senior living—with all its innovations—be more, rather than less, appealing?" she asks. "We know how to meet basic needs for shelter, food, safety, and personal care. Understanding how to meet other basic human needs is less obvious—the need to love and be loved, give as well as receive, be of value to others, and have feelings of competence and control."

Van Norman argues that attitudes toward the aged need to change just as we've changed the way we deal with disabled people. Once institutionalized and felt to be of little value to society, people with disabilities are now helped to participate in mainstream activities. But while this trend has evolved, she says, older people with disabilities are often expected to be passive observers of life who sit, literally and figuratively, on the sidelines.

"The disability movement strives to provide individuals with what they need to help them contribute to the community and be self-sufficient and self-responsible to the greatest extent possible," Van Norman says. "Why then should older adults with functional limitations be placed in environments where they are no longer expected to contribute to the greater community?"

Such "ageism," Van Norman feels, has negative effects on seniors' feelings of value and self-esteem. "Without feelings of value, competence and mastery, without meaning and purpose," she says, "what is wrong becomes bigger than what is right and what a person cannot do becomes bigger than what a person can."

[See 15 Top Office and Home-Based Jobs for Seniors.]

Van Norman thinks one answer worth exploring is to better identify the human pursuits that give meaning to life at any age, and refocus retirement communities to provide these activities. She calls them "purpose driven communities," perhaps borrowing a page from evangelical minister Rick Warren, whose books include The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church. In Van Norman's use, however, purpose driven does not have a religious meaning so much as a needs-based focus on helping the elderly continue to find value and meaning in their daily activities.

Van Norman has a starter-set of suggested purpose driven communities:

  • Communities near or somehow connected to an animal shelter, recycling center, elementary school, boys and girls club, or food bank.
  • Housing complexes with organic gardens, where residents and staff could grow organic vegetables for the local schools, day care centers, food banks and hospitals, as well as for themselves.
  • A retirement community with a working farm, perhaps an organic farm or one that used historic farming techniques, so that seniors could not only raise crops but provide valuable teaching lessons to area schools.
  • Working partnerships with local groups in the community, including volunteer and awareness programs on the environment, education, political causes, children’s causes, animal causes, world hunger, and the like.
  • A retirement community that adopts a local school, providing a range of volunteer and mentoring services.

And beyond physical retirement communities, the Internet has spawned countless communities of interest. Seniors can access existing communities or start their own. Somewhere, sometime, there is always someone online who shares your passion and interest. What purpose driven community would appeal to you?

[See How the 'Old Old' Can Have Best Lives.]

Corrected on 10/23/09: An earlier version of this article incorrectly identified Kay Van Norman.

Tags:
quality of life,
aging,
retirement

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I am a boomer born in 53. My business is thriving. My kids are raised. I am writing and recording and playing music with my band (that does NOT play "classic" rock). We play celtic/acoustic style music. Our lead singer is 24 years younger than me. We are asked often if we are married. We say "yes, but not to each other" ha ha! I look and feel better than I ever have, yet our church, which is going for the youth, has pushed me and others like me aside once they find out our age. This is a totally imaginary line to judge people by, especially in America. I am finding myself with time on my hands and it's killing me. It's good to read something from someone like myself who feels the same way. Surely there are millions more just like us out there who are not going to give up so easily.

MikeW of KY 7:11AM July 05, 2011

I agree with you 100%.

T. Williams of NY 1:14PM November 27, 2009

As a rapidly aging baby boomer, I REFUSE to live in these communities like our parents do/did. They're like living on a cruise ship where they don't get off and interact with the world anymore. Everything is done for them. They have very little contact with folks younger than them. This isn't good at all. Plus they give up everything they own to live there. UGH.

We boomers have been a huge blip on the social, economical, etc., scales since the day we were born. We have changed a lot of things, not all of it for the better. I am ashamed of some of the things we've done/changed. But we can't go back.

I feel we will be changing aging, retirement, where we choose to live and how, as we've changed so many other things. Hopefully, these changes will be good ones.

Thanks to good medicine, we are living longer and healthier lives for the most part. That good medicine comes from research, innovation and more. If that is interfered with, as in these bad bills that hopefully won't get passed, we will no longer have research, etc. By these bad bills, the government is trying to send us back to the stone age regarding health care. Yes, health care needs to be overhauled...but NOT like this!

There isn't a doctor alive who makes the kind of money like those bailed out bankers, auto companies, and their ilk. And it's still happening; there is no oversight at all.

These are the scariest times I've lived in and that includes growing up during the Cold War. At least we were united then against communism, no matter what political party we belonged to. I've never seen this country so divided. Unless you count the Civil War that I've only read about.

Sorry for the digression...bad habit of mine, but one thing leads to another.

withavengeance of MD 11:04AM October 31, 2009

The Best Life

Philip Moeller, contributing editor for U.S. News Money, writes about achieving success and happiness in older age. He also is a research fellow at the Sloan Center on Aging & Work at Boston College.

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