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What are your wittiest office-isms?

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A book landed on my desk called Office 101: An Illustrated Guide. It's a compact picture book of office-isms (like "Don't get carried away on Casual Friday") accompanied by silly illustrative photographs (like an office worker with his mug of coffee, dressed in a carrot suit).

One of author Geoffrey Day-Lewis's office rules plays on Rudyard Kipling's poem "If":

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's quite possible you haven't grasped the situation.

Another: "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Dear readers, what office-isms can you offer?

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