Wives as Breadwinners Resent Husbands

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I found the conclusions drawn here to be misleading. It seems that the implication is that high-earning women can never be happy with lower-earning spouses... but what it seems to me that the REAL problems are two issues: 1) That when women are working, men fail to take on their full share of the day-to-day tasks required to run one's life, and 2) That as a society we still operate under assumptions that women don't "understand" money -- apparently not even when the woman in question is an investment banker!
Bottom line, women can't do it all by themselves. Marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership, not a division of labor (where the woman does everything!). The modern woman changed long ago, but the modern man needs to catch up.

LEB of WA 9:47AM June 29, 2009

I am recently remarried and my new Canadian husband cannot legally work. We discussed the issue before he made it to the US and he was not worrried because he said he had plenty of money in trust and did not have to. Well now that he. Is here I am struggling to keep the lights on and trying t o figure how to keep my home. It has been terribl as my husband said all him money is gone. Now I feel like he was not honesyt and I have a sick feeling everyday. I am now supporting my daughter and my new broke husband. The major part is his dishonesty and I have lost a lot of trust in him. Our future is a blank and ewvrything is left for me to decide. Not only do I have to work my ass of but I have to make all decisions for everything. I don't feel like he is may husband ...more like a 13 year old son.

beachmommy of CA 2:18PM June 14, 2009

The woman's problem in the article isn't that he makes less. It's that he still isn't getting off his a$$ to do his fair share of the chores and people still don't respect her because she's a woman.
It probably wouldn't even be an issue if he did his fair share or more of the chores, and if people coming to do work on her house and others actually respected her as a knowledgeable and successful person.
But, reading again your post, I suspect you are a troll.

kit of MD 9:03PM May 07, 2009

I find it amusing that women have the audacity to be resentful of their husbands in situations like this. Women begged for decades to be mens equals and this is the result - bitter, angry, men-haters. I have been happily divorced for 18 years because the majority of modern, career-oreented women are basically very unhappy people who prefer to spend their free time emasculating their boyfriends and husbands. If Dr. Laura read this article she would be rolling her eyes. Ladies - get a clue and read some of her books.

RJ of ID 7:30AM October 12, 2008

Hey everyone,
I can see points from both sides, but yet I am in the middle. I do work, but my wife is still the one bringing home more. I have a big problem with the fact that she is going to have to pay the larger part of the bills. I feel she is the worker and I am the maid, and so I do most all the house chores with no complaint. My only problem I guess is, that male pride. I feel like a burden to her, not like a husband. Tho she constantly tells me she would rather I be home with a lower income, rather than being gone all week so that I can be the breadwinner myself.

Redneck Romeo of KS 11:45AM September 04, 2008

my hubby doesn't work - i pull in 80k a year - i've worked all my life, and when my husband lost his job and i was at the time pregnant with our second, he felt bad - but i think he's used to having it easy - he loads the dishwasher every day - that's it - i pull it on every end - he's a great dad, but as he used to fascinate me, he doesn't any longer - My girlfriends who are stay at home moms don't come around anymore for fear that i might steal their educated man - who gets paid and takes care of them financially... i'm a bit robust, with personality and have held my own my career with the boys - i'm good at what i do. my husband isn't - i love him, but he's becoming a fixture in my house - like the wallpaper - yawn...

fawn of AK 4:32AM May 26, 2008

I'm blessed to be able to work from home. I also homeschool our oldest son. The wife makes more than I do in salary, but not by much. Any overtime I put in balances that out, and the benefit of not having to commute also tips the scales. I'm able to clean up some, do laundry and manage the kids while she sits in the office.
Sometimes I envy her.. but not often.

Matthew Erickson of AK 3:13PM May 22, 2008

It sounds like all of you--Barry, Amy and Katie--are advocating balance. If women have entered and succeeded in the professional world, then men ought to enter (and succeed!) in the domestic sphere.
It's interesting--All this is proof that housework is the most difficult job, and it reminds me how terrific my mother is.

Liz Wolgemuth of 5:26PM May 21, 2008

I make more then my husband, and I recently took a job that doubled our income. But the time we each spend at work is the essentially the same, so really neither of us wants to do the household chores. While it would be financially feasible to have him quit , stay home to cook, clean, and do yard-work, I wouldn't expect that of him any more then he does of me. Instead, since I come home before he does, I cook dinner, then he cleans the pans and does the dishes after. We hired a service to mow the lawn, so we have our weekends free to be with each other. And if the house gets a little dusty in the corners, or a volunteer event gets skipped, so what? Resentful? I feel lucky to have a supportive partner, soul mate, and confidant who helps me be the best I can be (and vice versa).

Katie of LA 1:06PM May 21, 2008

Yes, I know what the resentment's about. I think you're misinterpreting my comment as saying that women shouldn't resent men who sit on their tushes. On the contrary, I'm sighing about our needing to have that conversation.
I'm one of those men who usually cooks dinner, and I don't understand why we're so hung up on "gender roles" that we have to create these silly conflicts. Life is too short for that.

Barry Leiba of NY 12:59PM May 21, 2008