Wives as Breadwinners Resent Husbands

May 20, 2008 RSS Feed Print
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Here's some bad news for wives with high-paying gigs: A survey conducted by women's website BettyConfidential.com found that "most women in this role are simultaneously proud of themselves and resentful of their husbands."

The site's editor, Nicole Christie, notes that women who rake in more money than their husbands find it a blessing and a curse—causing "a gap between husband and wife that's difficult to bridge."

One woman, a 43-year-old investment banker, had this to say in the release:

"I have financial independence that my mother never had," she says. "But I do resent my husband because there are so many household chores, community events, and school events that the 'woman of the house' is expected to do." She finds it helpful that her husband works full-time as opposed to staying home, yet says workmen at the house won't discuss repairs with her and that financial consultants defer to her husband, assuming he is the breadwinner and household decision-maker.

The issue of female breadwinners and stay-at-home dads has recently gotten heated airtime at Penelope Trunk's blog. Rebel Dad, a site for stay-at-home dads, was featured on NBC's "Today Show" last month.

One problem with this brouhaha is that it masks how very common female primary breadwinners are. A few years ago, researchers at St. Louis University looked at Census Bureau data between 1996 and 2000 and found that as many as 20 percent of women earned more than their husbands. A BLS report showed the figure reached about 25 percent in families where both partners were working in 2003.

Last year, a professor at Queens College in New York found that full-time working women in their 20s in New York, Chicago, Boston, and Minneapolis earned more than men of the same age range.

Tags:
relationships,
marriage,
working women,
careers,
money

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MEL, THE THINGS U JUST SAID ARE SO TRUE. IT DOES REALLY TAKE 2 PEOPLE ON THE SAME UNDERSTANDING TO GET IT RIGHT! NOT JUST LOVE

NIKKI of GA 11:05AM April 15, 2013

How about resenting your husband for being chronically unemployed for 20 years? Out of the almost 21 years we've been married, he's been unemployed for 12 out of 21. And those years he HAS had a job, it's spotty. The cycle is predictable: he gets a job, it's wonderful at first, three months in he starts complaining, then about 8 months in he gets fired, laid off, or he quits. EVERY TIME. If it weren't for me we would be homeless!

WB of OR 1:08PM January 11, 2013

Of course she is resentful towards you, Why did she have to work all these years being the bread winner and supporting you and the family while you earned only $24k a year and now YOUR even the one that is able to retire young at age 50 while you watch her continue to go to work?! why dont you let your wife retire and get a break FINALLY??? since you have all that money now and you should go to work and give her a break after supporting you and the family with her higher income for many years, she deserves that... Thats why she is MAD AT YOU! Your wife is SAINT in my opinion, poor lady.

kathryn 8:28AM May 29, 2012

The Inside Job

You're taking a break from your job-hunting and job-hopping ways and have decided to stay put in your current position. Liz Wolgemuth’s careers blog will show you how to make the very best of your job, each day.

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