How to Talk to a Laid-Off Coworker

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hotelvergleich niederlande of 7:54PM May 03, 2010

I can relate everything I am reading - since I was just REDEPLOYED two weeks ago. Folks you thought were friend have vanished !!
To anyone out there please keep your head up and something good will come your way. Right now I am looking for mine !!

Kevin A Smith of PA 5:00PM July 23, 2009

You are correct that many companies no longer have any loyalty to their employees. Companies will complain that no one wants to stick around very long, but when the RIFs hit, they are the first to let go the older, more experienced employees. Why ? Because they save the most money on the long-term people's salaries and pension plan payouts. And they don't care how hard it will be for you to find another job at your age. Well guess what, good luck in replacing that valuable expertise. Companies are now finding out that it takes 2 - 3 younger, less experienced workers to equal the same productivity and quality of the experienced managers. Guess the companies don't have enough experience to realize that............

Soren DeKiester of TX 4:33PM February 10, 2009

I lost my job in 1995. it was devastating. what kept my head up was the support of my wife, who though knew there was nothing to fall back on, encouraged me to believe that I was still useful. Friends were a great help. What I couldn't stand was pity. It made me miserable. It is important for friends and colleagues to help you accept the reality rather than make you feel as if there was something you could have done to prevent being sacked. I lost my job because I wasn't an indigene of the state where I was born and grew up.In other words, even if I had lived there for over 30 years and had married an indigene, since my parents were not born there, I had no right to a job.

Alexander 12:15PM February 10, 2009

Thanks to U.S. News for addressing this life crisis. I'm a Federal worker who's waiting for the tap on the shoulder. My coworkers seem to think we are all indispensable, but I don't think so. I guess we believe what we want to believe until reality slaps us in the face. I've lived through RIFs before. It's been my experience that management lies to us until the day they're forced to tell the truth. So we should prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
I think what I would add to the discussion to surviving coworkers is that if you can't sincerely express sympathy, don't do it at all. Unless, of course, you're getting in one last penetrating wound before termination.

Frank of HI 9:39PM February 09, 2009

I was "let go" after 17 years at my place of employment, and I was surprised at the reactions, too. One of my friends helped me pack my things and got boxes for me, but most people just walked past me and looked. The people I expected to care and to say something didn't, and some who I didn't expect approached me and offered words of comfort and hugs. I was surprised no managers approached me, and I felt like people thought I had a deadly disease and talking to me would put them in danger, too. After I left, some people telephoned or e-mailed, but that has slowed down, also. My husband was laid off last September, so we are searching for jobs together. I know that when I find another job and I am in the position where I am staying and others are being let go, I will say something or offer some encouragement because it does mean a great deal.

Linda of IN 3:14PM February 09, 2009

I believe it is instinctive for workers to feel loyalty to their companies, but it is best to strike a balance between your feelings of loyalty and the knowledge that your company will kick you out when the economy dictates it. Mom may let you stay when times are tough, but your employer won't. Mixing your feelings of self-worth with your employer's willingness to keep you on in bad times can be devastating to your self-esteem when you are let go through no fault of your own. You owe it to your job to do the best you can, but remember that it is a job, not your family. If you don't, you may lose your inner self as well as your job when you asked to pack up and leave. When I was laid off, I sat in the middle of my living room and cried for three days. Then I went to the pet shelter, found a cute little kitten to cuddle with, and kept on going. What I learned is that I will never, ever, let an employer make me feel again like I felt that time.

Cindy Goetz of AZ 1:25PM February 09, 2009

I was RIFed 3.0 years ago and my long-time coworkers (and friends, I thought) never said a word as I left the office or anytime after. It was quite a revelation of human behavior.
But after several months of job searching, I found an even better job with a large salary increase, and made new friends. So to those of you looking right now, don't give up, there is life after (your company's name).
Don't feel that it's a reflection on you if your coworkers choose to pretend you never existed. We have very few true friends in this world anyway. And when the chips are down, you find out who they really are.
Best of luck to those of you searching. Don't give up and God Bless.

Soren DeKiester of TX 11:08AM February 05, 2009

Having just been 'downsized' This having been my job 2nd job out of college it has been devasting but it has only been two days. I guess I should look at it in a positive light but change is never easy especially when unsolicited. It's hard when you have spent countless hours, weekends, 16 hours days and in the end they whisk you out the door and say 'good luck.' The hardest thing will be to replace those relationships developed over the years, co-works, customers, end-users etc. being at a job for that long you develop a family like presence with others.
Thank God I don't have dependents - facing this alone is hard enought without a family - I feel for those of you in that situation. I'm undoubtley in a better position then most - being that my career field is in IT but it will still take beating the street etc.
For all of those reading this who are in the same situation my heart extends to you and yours.

Jeff in Omaha of NE 12:45AM February 05, 2009