How to Survive When You Hate Your Job

Expert advice on how to improve your experience and your relationships at work

July 8, 2009 RSS Feed Print

With 9.5 percent of American workers unemployed and on the job hunt, you know exactly how you should feel about the job you have: ridiculously fortunate. And you are. But at the same time, maybe not—because you hate your job. Every moment at the office is interminable. Sunday nights, you practically cry yourself to sleep. Happiness comes at 5:01 p.m. on Friday. And if you won the lottery, there's no doubt you would quit your job without a second, moralistic thought.

You're not alone. The majority of American workers say they plan to start looking for work when the economy recovers, according to a recent survey from Adecco and Harris Interactive. But the bottom line is that you probably still need your job. So, you need a strategy for surviving it.

[Search for your best place to find a job.]

Figure out what's changed. More than 20 percent of employees say this recession has lowered their job satisfaction, according to a survey by the Society for Human Resource Management. If you're really unhappy at work, stop and do a self-examination. "Most people who hate their jobs have never asked themselves why they hate them," says Sylvia Lafair, author of Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success. Although the recession may have increased your workload, erased company perks, or changed your job description, it's worth pinpointing the thing you hate, even if the economy is to blame. If you don't know why you feel so miserable in your job, it's easy to get stuck in a cycle in which you continue to pursue jobs with the same problematic attributes.

[See how to ask for a raise after the recession.]

Start a research project: Lafair offers a pithy goal for job-haters who are stuck because of high unemployment rates: "If you can't leave it, what can you learn from it?" Very often, people hate their work because of troubled relationships with coworkers or—what is more common—a supervisor. It's important to figure out what it is about your coworkers that's so frustrating and then work out new ways of responding to them. Treat it like a research project, Lafair suggests. You'll find that a sense of experimentation can inject new energy into your daily routine. Many times, people find that what they disliked most about these relationships is their own unwillingness to speak up or to avoid certain conversations, Lafair says.

Start with gratitude. A crucial step to curing your doldrums is a change in perspective, says Patrick Lencioni, author of The Three Signs of a Miserable Job . You should keep in mind, he notes, that just having a job is enough for some people. This doesn't mean you should be satisfied with the status quo, but you should recognize the value of your position.

Look around the office. If you hate your job, there's a good chance that other people around you do, too. Negativity breeds negativity. Despite what got the ball rolling in the first place, you can choose to be part of a move in the opposite direction. "You can go to work and actually make someone else's job less miserable," Lencioni says. "Use your job to help others." Although there may be other methods of reducing your unhappiness—by improving your skills or shifting some of your workload to a coworker—money and staff are tight, and employees probably won't have too many levers to pull during this recession.

[See why the job market isn't as bad as you think.]

Help colleagues with three things. Employees who are miserable in their jobs tend to be miserable because of three things, Lencioni says. They feel anonymous; they feel irrelevant, as though their work doesn't matter; and they don't know how to measure their success. You can help a coworker feel less anonymous; relationships at work are so important that those who feel known by their coworkers have a hard time leaving their jobs even voluntarily. Also, feedback is crucial; working without a sense that your contribution matters to the company's objectives will put you on the road to misery. Find a way to help other people realize why their job matters. If you're a manager, let your employees know how you measure their performance.

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For 20+ years in the same Industry, I felt respected, had excellent reviews, and excellent performance. Now, because of health reasons, I stepped back into direct sales. The current company I am with (over 5 years), treats sales representatives as commodities. Although we make good money, those even at 50% of Quota can make near 100K, so it's difficult to walk away, especially if you can approach, meet , or exceed quota. Out of 360+ sales reps nationwide, only 51 are currently at 100% or above. And....it's been that way every year! Yet everyday the rest of us, are brow beaten, reminded of our not succeeding, reminding us that we need to stretch, and do we really have the desire to succeed. Of course we don't.....we love to feel worthless! It's our goal!

Our management can always find excuses when marketing, operations, support, or another group makes mistakes...because they are too busy, they have too much too do, etc. But, we AE's...no.... it's because we are lazy, don't or can't work 12 hour days all the time, and of course....aren't dedicated enough to our own success. I would leave, but I am now way past my prime, my health is an issue in getting hired, and.....it's terrible to start over at my age...again. I have to put up with Managers that at one time....couldn't tie my shoes, let alone fill em. I have to put up with it because of my Family. If not for them.....I would rather work as a Walmart Greeter..lol. I'd make a good one.

I do love making my co-workers feel happier, and I do think I am a bright light to them, in this sea of darkness. At least, most of them think I am a bright light. If it were not for their respect.....I think I would go...POSTAL....:)

Big Daddy of OR 9:45PM August 30, 2011

I have been at my current job for 12 years. Lots of favoritism at the job. If you are not a favorite, you are not recognized for anything. Have been accused of doing and saying things I have never done or said. Have had coworkers lie about me and have gotten into trouble for it. Am not aloud to voice my opinion or tell my side of the story. Unfortunately, because of the way I have been treated, I have become madder and madder and have had outbursts. Need to learn how to control those until I can find a way out. Was threatened with termination; however, I really believe they are just laying the groundwork to let me go. There is another girl in the office that hates her position and they keep giving her part of mine. If I am let go she will have the whole job. She is one of the favorites and always gets what she wants. Most of the time, she is 45 min to 1 hour late and doesn't punch in and no one says anything to her. If I am three minutes late, I get docked 15 minutes. Help me find a job and happiness.

Me of OH 9:37AM August 06, 2011

dd of md, you are not alone! I also am an "executive assistant" (A.K.A Slave, cleaning lady, errand runner, do everything around the office that nobody else wants to do) and am mostly left alone in the office with the very micro-managing, attitudinal and at times, very bi-polar, office manager. there is little to no feedback when I do jobs correctly, but they are more than willing to give me an hour degrading lecture when I make one simple mistake. It feels more like an abusive relationship than a job to me. I look at other people in their jobs and think how happy they must be, and long for a job that harbors less stress! I honestly feel as though I am taking years off of my life staying in this position. I get that sick feeling of dread about Monday mornings also, thankfully not on Saturday morning but it comes on like clockwork each Sunday. No matter how postive I try to start my day, by 11 oclock AM at the latest, the office manager has successfully shattered my hopes of having a good day with his negativity, and I just pray for a lucky break out of here soon!

M of VA 11:24AM July 25, 2011

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