How the Best Dating Advice Applies to Your Job Hunt

The obvious similarities between finding a mate and a job.

The obvious similarities between finding a mate and a job
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Substance is more important than style. Have you met someone who was "good on paper," only to get too close and then find yourself the victim of a "bait and switch"? Both job candidates and employers fall for this trap. Be careful if the employer is too agreeable to meet all your terms of employment, or if the candidate seems pre-destined to fill a job's requirements. "From a candidate's prospective, you need to ask questions about the job's posting and the description," Churchman says. "Be very clear about what the job entails and what you can do. It's easy to get mesmerized by the role offered, and then once the courtship process is over you realize that you weren't well suited for the position or the company."

[Read: The Bald and The Beautiful: A Look at Career Urban Legends.]

Be yourself. Putting on a facade of job qualifications that you don't have, either skills or personality traits, is perhaps the worst mistake you can make when interacting with a potential employer. Establishing chemistry is instrumental to taking the next steps and to finding long-term commitment. "Sometimes an interviewer will be really stone-faced or quick to the point, or won't reveal any personality. Nevertheless, you really want to reveal your true self," Owens says. "Regardless of their demeanor, [the interviewer is] there to find out how they feel about the real you."

If you're up for a job that you know you're not quite the right fit for, you should be clear about the differences in what you can do and what has been requested, then you should express your interest in bridging that gap. And if the difference in what you offer and what an employer seeks is too pronounced, you shouldn't apply in the first place. Before sending the first résumé or going on the first date, Owens says. "You need to date yourself first. Confidence is a really sexy quality in any relationship scenario. Before you put yourself on the dating scene, or on the job market, you need to take inventory of what you offer and what you want."