How to Live Alone Without Being Lonely

Eric, a 47 year old man is not old. There are many women who would appreciate having someone like you to be friends with and more. Why not take a course in some form of retraining perhaps in the medical field and get a better job? Join groups such as exist on meet-up and put yourself out there to make new friends. Don't wait and let another 7 years pass - you can make a better life for yourself now. Good luck. I know you can do it. And the comments which followed your notes were totally insensitive and stupid - don't listen to stupid people - join a religious or spiritual organization, put yourself out there, stay healthy and you will find someone to love you and be with you. Good luck, I know you can do it.

Susan of NY 1:33AM March 30, 2013

I understand the last comment only too well, with two consecutive failed relationships, the last one being an engagement, I wonder if my mojo is at last failing me. Online dating is a miserable failure, with most women being too rude even to get back to me.

I am 41 years old, and live alone. My only family is an elderly mother in a local nursing home. She told me today she worries for me, and truth be told I worry for us both.

I know I am isolated, and need to make a social circle for myself. It is hard enough to raise my head every day let alone go excercising at my local pool or go for a walk. I take pleasure in little things these days, washing my clothes and dishes, maintaining the yard, a far cry from the successful public practitioner I was only 12 months ago.

The moral of my story is that success is fleeting and relationships even more so, at the end of the day you will only have yourself to depend on, depressing but true from my own experiences and those of others I have observed ...

Damien 10:34AM February 17, 2013

not only am I divorced but failed in a few relationships.Now I live a life isolated from society as I am unable to make any friends Its getting difficult with each passing day but I am not able to help myself I am 45 years,single,struggling and lonely

loly of AK 9:34PM August 18, 2012

Friends can help you live a healthier longer life.

We Are Never Too Old To Make New Friends by Sunie Levin

Forget the calendar. How old are you? No cheating allowed. Be honest. On my 80th birthday last month my oldest daughter informed me, “You know, mom, 80 is actually today’s 60.” Sure, I thought to myself. Easy for you to say. Say that when you have the same aches and pains I do. But then I had another thought. I thought, you know, she’s right. I may be 80, but I don’t feel 80. I don’t act 80 either. Am I bragging? Maybe. But it’s the truth.

And then I began thinking, “If that’s the case, specifically, what am I doing right? And as I pondered that question, I realized that, consciously or not, I really was doing at least some things that made me much younger than many of my calendar-year friends and acquaintances.So what things am I doing right? Well, for starters, I keep interested and I keep active. Big deal, you might say. Who needs to hear that bromide again? Lots of people, actually. I’m amazed at how many friends I have who have given up on life, lonesome, sitting quietly watching life go by. Their old friends have died or moved away to Florida, and it never occurs to them that is an unlimited supply of new ones out there just waiting to be met. And then it hit me. Yes! Yes! That’s it. That’swhat I’ve been doing right. I’ve been making new friends, and new friends open amazing new vistas for me, keep me interested. And hopefully, keep me interesting. Then another thought hit me. This extremely simple idea is one I should be transmitting to others. The result? My new book, ‘Make New Friends–Live Longer.’

Don’t groan. Another book! Just what I need. Well, maybe you do. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll give you the key thoughts now, for free.

A lack of friends in our senior years saps the life out of anyone. And old friends inevitably dwindle in number. Some find themselves housebound due to illness. Some get divorced. Some move to new communities (didn’t I just mention Florida?) and don’t know a soul when they get there. Some are bereft of a spouse, or so tied down as caregiver they find themselves cut off from social contact. At this stage of the game, what’s to be done?

Plenty, actually. I’m not saying it’s easy to make new friends, partly because we’re out of the habit, and partly because friendship circles are harder to break into now. But it’s doable, and if you want a more vital life, it’s mandatory. Some things we need to do are internal, some external. We need to project a sunny image. We need to avoid complaining. Nobody likes a whiner. We need to be proactive. Nobody’s going to come looking for us. We have to look for them.

How? Well, here are a few commonsense thoughts. Scour community newsletters. They tell you what’s going on, and where. Others have the same interests you do, so go where they congregate, and introduce yourself. Join book groups.

Sunie Levin of FL 9:20AM April 02, 2012