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Financial Checklist for Widows and Widowers in New Relationships

Tips for handling the complicated financial issues of comingling money later in life.

April 30, 2012 RSS Feed Print

• Long-term care: Given the high cost of long-term care—a private room in a nursing home cost $87,235 per year in 2011, according to a MetLife Survey—having a partner who needs that level of care could strain both of your bank accounts. If you're married, you'd need to spend down both spouse's assets before your spouse would qualify for Medicaid, even if you have a prenuptial agreement stating that certain assets be kept separate.

[See Should You Buy Long-Term Care Insurance?]

Steve Kunkel, lead managing director at tax consulting firm CBIZ MHM in Los Angeles, suggests considering long-term care insurance before you need it. "If the new spouse doesn't have a lot of assets, maybe one of the things that the richer spouse can do is provide a policy that covers both of them," says Kunkel, "People live for a long time nowadays, and they may have delayed onset Alzheimer's or develop some chronic problem that's going to require a lot of care."

Either way, you should discuss your healthcare preferences with your partner in case something happens to you. Also consider signing a healthcare proxy form if you're not married and want your partner to be able to make medical decisions on your behalf should you become incapacitated.

• Real estate: Before moving into a new partner's house or vice versa, discuss what happens to the house if the owner dies. Should the house go to that person's family or should the property be titled jointly? One option is to use a life estate, in which the other partner (called a life tenant) stays in the home for his or her lifespan, then the property passes to the owner's family after the life tenant's death.

As Jean Setzfand, vice president for financial security at AARP, points out, couples should also discuss how the property could be adapted as they age. "Is the house you're currently living in appropriate for you to live there the rest of your life?" she asks. Some homes may be unsuitable while others could be adapted with ramps to the entrance or grab bars in the shower.

Couples considering remarriage may also want a prenup (called an antenup in some states). "Life gets more complicated as you get older," says Setzfand. "That makes it harder when you comingle your life and financial situation. But the prenup is a discussion process, which helps you and your spouse figure things out. It also makes it official." Those who are already married could use a postnup instead.

Tags:
relationships,
marriage,
personal finance,
money

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It is crucial that couples to discuss their financial situation, what assets are being brought into the relationship, what are the pros and cons of getting married and even joining accounts or not having a joint account. This discussion needs to even include if there's any debt being brought into the marriage. I've talked with several women who said they would not do joint accounts again because they were lied to in a previous marriage. Communicating about what's important to them when it comes to money and life is key.

Dr. Taffy Wagner, CEPF®, CCRR®

http://www.moneyandmarriage365.com

Dr. Taffy Wagner of CO 3:27PM May 09, 2012

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deanjones523 of CA 2:26PM May 09, 2012

Ms Johnston is right that "plenty of books and articles offer financial planning tips … but few address the financial issues that widows and widowers face." However, most books are similar to the article in that they tell someone to just sit down and talk with a significant other or spouse about finances – but talking about finances is really difficult. I'd suggest enrolling in a marriage and money seminar, going through a marriage weekend, or doing the Money Habitudes cards (www.moneyhabitudes.com) activity on one's own to talk about money in the context of a relationship – and that's true if someone is marrying for the first time or remarrying after divorce or the loss of a spouse.

Jane of TX 3:42PM May 03, 2012

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