“Pittsburgh is seeking a federal grant to purchase a hovercraft. In other news, I’m seeking a federal grant to purchase a hovercraft.” “Business idea: Hair salon/accounting firm called ‘Tax Cuts.’ Trademark!”
“The U.S. will start removing nickels and pennies from circulation in 2013. Outrageous! I thought Obama promised MORE change!”
Hint: Famed satirist, Jon Stewart cohort and defeated presidential candidate.
Next: Stephen Colbert