Baby Boomers Moving In With Adult Children

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To complicate the matters of trying to provide care is the issue of how to pay for it whether in our homes or ALF's. Lacking the finances reduces the choices that can be made. There is a little known VA Improved Pension available to veterans and their surviving spouses that can represent over $23,000 a year to help offset these costs and provide better choices. This is a Pension and is not Disability. Meaning that the veteran did not have to be injured during their time of service in order to be eligible. The Pension consists of Basic, Housebound and Aid and Attendance.

As the daughter of a WWII veteran, I discovered the Pension at the passing of my dad. I filed for the benefit on behalf of my mom as his widow and got the Pension awarded to her. If we had known about this Pension for the entire time they were in care for 9 years, it would have been over $160,000 to help pay for their care. Dad's pension left thousands owed each month that we as a family had to cover.

When my mom passed, I made a vow to somehow make a difference for another son or daughter as well as honoring the sacrifice of service to this country. I created veteranaid.org which is dedicated to educating and informing the general public. Improved Pension is the single most under utilized VA benefit. Millions have and still are missing out. I hope this information will make a difference for someone you love.

Debbie Burak of VA 1:34PM September 19, 2009

Good article. Thank you.

We happen to live in an area where some have very negative perceptions of families in which more than "Mom-Dad-kid or two" live in the same house – often in very large homes (much more space and cost than needed—tho “it’s a free country”). The reason for this excessive concern is that our town does have a relatively high percentage of immigrants from all over the world. This is a characteristic of the metro-DC area. The vast majority of these people are not impoverished or illiterate and do not work as day laborers. I’m providing a tiny bit of “profile info” because our town has also gone way overboard in targeting certain ethnicities and extended families.

Warehousing of workers obviously should not be allowed. But there is nothing wrong with an extended family that minds its own business and maintains the residence. The cultures of many nations welcome or at least expect extended families. The U.S. IS moving toward respect for extended families, due to both economic realities and to some smaller extent the influc of immigrants from nations that value families beyond the nuclear family.

IMHO, our “bigger is better” consumer culture has caused major warps in our sense of family and humanity. There are significant benefits to extended families – for all parties, and especially the kids. The “tips” on making this work are also well-taken.

But too many folks seem to have “attitudes” about any form of extended family, I spite of the benefits. This is really a shame.

I happen to have been born toward the end of the “Great Depression”. My Mother’s family and another family (the families of a brother and sister) all lived in the same big old house with their several children. Several aunts/uncles/cousins etc were also part of the family from time to time, with elders living out their lives together with younger generations.

We have observed the devolution of family – the isolation of insular families – the children “warehoused” at day care centers etc of necessity – and it has not been good for any of us. Hopefully, economics and new ethnic mixes will restore a sense of the broad positive values families.

Gratefully,at one point my neighbors had a good sense of family when my kids were young and I had escaped a devastating marriage. It does “take a village” to raise a child – and I have always felt blessed to have caring folks for neighbors.

That “village” is excellent, but extended families should be a normal and necessary part of our lives whenever work and other situations permit folks to share.

REGARDING “LIVING LIKE ROYALTY” – as someone referred to Marian Robinson’s new life following daughter and son to D.C..

In some ways, it may seem great, but that is not necessarily an entirely positive part of her new life. She will be here because of the children and the value of extended family.

HOWEVER, people often prefer to do for themselves, and people of any age and circumstance would generally prefer to

Ann H. Csonka of VA 2:12AM January 10, 2009