Should Seniors Live Alone or With Family?

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My family is facing this issue with my mother now. At this point she needs more than the family can emotionally provide. She is no longer the same person she was even six months ago. She is 91 and has always lived in the house my father built for her and her children were raised in. Ours is not a close family. When my husband was alive we assumed looking out for her, making sure she got to medical appointments, groceries, prescriptions etc. as well as some financial assistance and providing contact to prevent isolation. Now my brother who lives out of state is doing most of it as I am disabled and she doesn't answer her phone most of the time which limits our contact. I go to doctor's appointments with her and spend time with her when my brother is home. My other two brothers want no responsibility for the decisions to be made. Her mind is very fragile, she won't eat or take her meds and refuses outside help. She is falling a lot and is short of breath. It is going to be a difficult decision to make but I don't have room to have her live with me and I don't think I could physically do it and I don't think it would be workable for her to live with my brother. She would have to sell her home to move into assisted living if she could handle living in a situation like that. I think she needs more care but I hate to see her in a nursing home. My husband died in one and he was only 54. It wasn't anyplace you would want to see anybody live out their days.

Sally R Goodrich of VT 9:08PM December 30, 2012

While aging-in-place may be a good option for some people, it may not be a good solution for others. Even though seniors can receive assistance with personal care and chores while still remaining home, the one issue that is hard to solve is isolation and loneliness if there are no friends or family members visiting regularly. Therefore, for some, independent living and assisted living are better solutions since they provide more socialization with a variety of activities. For more information about available options, please visit www.goldenyearslivingsolutions.com.

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Quality Advantage of VA 2:54PM April 03, 2012

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Ari of GA 4:40PM March 20, 2012

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Stephens Remodeling of VA 1:16PM March 20, 2012

Thank you for this piece. It does a good job of highlighting the pros and cons of a choice that many of our nations elders and their families face.
Often, families will choose informal caregiving - mostly by family members - as their best option. Family caregivers contribute a huge amount to taking care of our elders: their economic value of their unpaid work in 2009 was approximately $450 billion. The importance of at-home care should not be overlooked, but rather weighed against the benefits of institutional care.
Learn more at www.eldercareworkforce.org

Molly of NY 11:47AM March 20, 2012